I cannot remember a time when people weren't asking about my eyes or making fun of them. I have had the lovely nicknames of ching chong, I think I'm turning Japanese (too long to stick), Chinese devil, white ninja and Chwexican (that's Chinese-White-Mexican). There maybe more but these are the ones that stuck out.
A few weeks ago yet another patient asked me what my "nationality." While I thought about saying American and not paying attention to here thinly veiled attempt to find out if I'm Asian or not, but I decided to give her the information she was looking for. I told her that my family is a mix of just about anything you could think of, everything except Asian. She did not believe me, so she asked, "No Asian at all? Are you sure?"
Other than being a little annoyed with the stupid way she asked I told her that I am mostly German. She responded by shouting, "German? German? They don't have eyes like that!" She said this so loudly that the nurses at the station begin to look in.
I start blushing a bit with frustration and embarrassment. I finish my test and leave, handing the EKG to the nurse who is looking at my eyes trying to decide if I really am Asian or not.
So after this I decided that I'll have to get some plastic surgery to correct my eyes, just to keep people from asking me what my nationality is.
That plan seemed good until last night. I did an EKG on an older, very angry lady. As soon as I stepped into the room she looked at me and asked, "Why do you shave your head?"
This question comes up at work nearly as much as the eye question. Apparently, my bald head is very offensive to the older population. Then I realized, I can get my eyes changed, but then what? Hair plugs? That doesn't sound very appealing. I could try a toupee with scalp snaps like my grandpa, but that sounds painful. Then there is my nose, not many people ask about it, but how would they ask that? Are you related to an elephant? How about my Adam's apple? Would I have to get corrective surgery to fix that too?
So I decided it's much cheaper to just put up with the questions about my eyes and head and see what kind of creative nicknames people come up with.