Wednesday, November 11, 2009

He is a he

So the three of you would never be guilty of this I'm sure, but you get to listen to me vent nonetheless. Sorry. :)

After a recent trip to the doctor, a conversation with a friend and numerous conversations with a certain hyperbaric chamber operator I have grown very tired of the word they. The dentist, who has some autistic tendencies of his own, spoke with me about Avi. He said, "Go to the website and type in his name and do the tour. They do better after they are more familiar. They like it when we keep them in the same room. We'll keep him with the same hygienist, they like that. We'll let him wear the heavy lead vest, they really like that." And on and on.

The friend was asking things like, "Don't they sit in the corner and rock? They never learn to talk, right?"

I won't get into what the operator said, they are too many and too inane to repeat. I know that their use of the word is not meant to be offensive and I try not to let it bother me, but he really is not a they, he is a he. He is a person aside from his diagnosis. I hate to think that he might be defined by it for the rest of his life.

Anyway, you readers would never talk about him like that so I apologize for subjecting you to my rant.


Valerie said...

Maybe you should find out where you can write "Education on Autism" articles about different issues like this. I'm sure that people do exactly the same types of things with different groups of people too, not just cute Avi. Great picture!

Tiff :o) said...

Sorry you have to deal with people who assume Avi and all other chidren with autism must be exactly the same.

Terry Family said...

I love this post. It is so true that people, once they are aware of a diagnosis, seem to diconnect with the fact that the 'they' spoken of is actually someone's son. I'm so sorry that you've had some horrible experiences with naive people. It's frustrating and difficult. Your posts are amazing and seriously give me inspiration. Avi is lucky to have parents who care about him and love him so much.

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