My photography class required us to turn in two photos of landscapes. One of my photos was of a little plant peeking out of the crack in my driveway. My teacher really liked it but said it wasn't technically a landscape (I think her mind just wasn't open enough!).
So Itai and I went on a "mountain hike" looking for true landscape photos. While he and I hiked around a trail we stumbled upon a couple standing with their backs to the cliff, facing parachutes spread out on the ground. Occasionally the parachutes would be lifted by the breeze and the would-be paragliders would pull against them, their bodies leaning sharply toward the steep cliff behind them. Itai was fascinated by them, or I should say, by their parachutes.
He asked to go closer and even though they weren't providing us with landscape photos I agreed. We went from one bench to another, slowly making our way to the bench directly in front of them. We were greeted by their beautiful and friendly dog who seemed to take a shine to Itai, though he did not seem to take a similar shine to her friendliness.
He asked to go closer and even though they weren't providing us with landscape photos I agreed. We went from one bench to another, slowly making our way to the bench directly in front of them. We were greeted by their beautiful and friendly dog who seemed to take a shine to Itai, though he did not seem to take a similar shine to her friendliness.
We eventually moved on. As we walked past the more experienced of the two he looked at me and Itai and smiled. I felt obligated to say something. I said something about how Itai was enthralled with the whole process they had been repeating over and over for at least a half an hour. He said he was enthralled with it too; it was hard not to be! Then I asked what the chances of him getting up were. He said on a day like this, not very good. I told him that was too bad, because they would probably really be missing out.
Then he told me something that didn't mean much to me at the time, but the more I've thought about the more I like it.
He looked down at his parachute as it flitted slightly in the wind and said, "It's okay, sometimes you learn more when you don't get off the ground."
The more I think of it the more this philosophy appeals to me.
Sometimes in life we stand with our backs to the cliff, our goals somewhere high above us and our parachutes lying flat on the ground, or perhaps rising with promise only to fall before they can carry us to new heights.
I think back on the many times in my life when I have failed to attain a goal I have set for myself and how often I have felt like a failure. I feel shame at these failures and I feel fear about facing future failures. In fact, last week in class we were asked to write our greatest fear on a sheet of paper. Not knowing these would be read aloud and the class would then attempt to guess the author of these little notes I wrote down "failure". Once I realized what was happening my note could have read "Having my note read aloud!" Fortunately, we ran out of time before my card was drawn and my top secret fear was revealed to the group.
I think the threat of failure will always bring fear for me, but I'm trying to look at not achieving my goals in a different light. I didn't fail; I just had a chance to learn more from the ground. Then, when I am able to leave the ground, I will have learned lessons I could never have learned while in the air.