Welcome to the Andes

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town!

2011-12-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

Ah, winter without the snow. I can go for that.

Even if it is freezing outside.

You can still go to the park do the slides without getting cold and wet,

Or play tennis,

Or you can even see SANTA!!

Itai was pretty excited and Avi was just happy to play with Santa's beard. (He looks scared by he's not.)

The best part is Santa even gives treats!

Free is Good

2011-11-13T19:57:00.000-08:00

Debbie and I were given free tickets to the 1st annual Peek Awards. This award, named for famous Utah native Kim Peek, who inspired the title character from the movie Rainman, is awarded to a person who positively portrays disabilities in the media. This was the inaugural year of the award.

Because the award was named after the late Kim Peek, his father was on hand with the Oscar the film won. Salt Lake City mayor, Ralph Becker, proclaimed November 3rd, "Kim Peek Day". Finally, after two introductions, the key note speaker took the stage. Tenured professor, author, patent holder and noted autism rights activist was given the 1st Annual Peek award for writing and inspiring the movie, "Temple Grandin".

As arguably the most famous person with autism (Kim Peek did not have autism) she has been sought out for insights into the mind of a person with autism. She explained the differences between neurotypical, Aspergian, and autistic brains work. She also explained how her brain processes information, even showing personal fMRIs to illustrate the point. According to her, when an NT (Neurotypical) person reads a book while in an fMRI the areas of the brain that focus on syntax and general ideas light up. When a person with autism reads the area of the brain that focuses on details lights up. Finally, when a person with Asperger's reads both details and syntax light up.

Ms. Grandin asked everyone to imagine a steeple. Ok, do it. Do you see a steeple? She said she was shocked to learn that when people are asked to do this they picture a generic steeple. When she is asked to picture a steeple she pictures specific steeples. Her mind is like a "Google search", she can see steeples in the rain, snow, night, etc. She said this is true of any thing she thinks of.

She also said that though people with autism have difficulty imagining things, she can see blueprints or schematics and picture exactly how it will function in reality. "Maybe I'm not smart enough to design a nuclear power plant, but maybe a person with autism could help. I look at the blueprint of the Fukushima Power Plant and I can just see the water pouring through the doors. I can what would happen if it all came in at once or if it all just keeps coming."

She wasn't given much time to address the crowd, but as she finished up she said something I won't forget. "I would never give up my autism. I like the way I think logically. I don't understand how other people think."

I wish she was given more time, but maybe next time.

We Have a Blog?

2011-11-01T14:50:00.001-07:00

Ok, It's been a little while since I've posted. This semester has been crazy, but I'm afraid it's nothing compared to wait lies in store next semester. In the meantime, here's a quick run down of what's happened since the last post.

Avi continues to speak more and more.

Itai started hating daycare...and then begging to go!

We learned that Itai is an "exceptional speaker" for his age. Aunt Tiffany came for a visit!

We had our fundraiser.

Avi fractured his knee. (At said fundraiser.)

We went to the autism carnival.

We missed the Walk Now for Autism Speaks.

We made many trips to the park.

We made a trip to one of the biggest parks of all: Disneyland!

We got back into the swing of things back at home. *sigh*

We all went to a family farm for a maze, pumpkin patch and wagon ride. (We forgot the camera.)

Uncle Jon moved in. (Not pictured due to grumpiness issues.)

Oh, and we went TRICK OR TREATING!!!

A lot. Once at Itai's school and once at Avi's school. And the College of Social Work held a Trick or Treat event at Officer's Hollow. And of course, on Halloween.

You could say that Itai likes Halloween. Stop by some time and join our busy-ness. We're casual.In fact, we invented casual.

Miss Me?

2011-09-29T20:54:00.001-07:00

I've been pretty busy trying to prepare my application for a master's degree and haven't had the chance to post anything in a while. The deadline for the application is tomorrow so I'm looking forward to the finish line.

I still have a lot to do so for know I'll just post a short video. One of my facebook friends posted this link on her page and I had to share it!

Man with Autism Sings National Anthem.

Enjoy!

He's 3!

2011-09-04T19:48:00.000-07:00

Itai recently turned three and had a pirate party. Pictures of the party will eventually appear on our blog but for now please enjoy these poolside pictures. For Itai's birthday I asked him some questions and plan on asking him the questions every year. Who is your friend?"You!"What makes you happy?"Tickles!"What scares you?After a very long pause he said, "The dark." What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Big and happy!"

Happy birthday Itai! We love you!

Park Life

2011-08-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Parks are an amazing thing. It's a place open to everyone and filled with a million activities.

You could get the window seat on a flight to anywhere.You could climb the tunnel to the moon!You could give "hillbilly hand fishing" a try.Or scare all the fish away.You can take a jungle safari.Or search for buried treasure.You take some time to rest in the shade and applaud your accomplishments.Itai has found a bucket of toys can make a trip to the park that much more fun.I like to take pictures of two of the cutest little brothers I known.Some people like playing Tarzan, and other people don't.You can look down from the top of the world.

You can wrestle...

Hug...

Or even steal a kiss.

Parks are one of our favorite places on Earth!

Swimming Lessons

2011-08-14T12:42:00.001-07:00

My sister Heather and her family came over for a visit this week. We went to the pool for a little swim. I learned a few things during our visit.

1. Their daughter, Aileah, is stinking cute! Ok, I already knew that one.

2. I cannot beat Tom in a swimming race. Seriously, I can't!

3. Heather (who was sitting poolside) loves getting splashed with water. I think she likes it because it helps her cool off without having to actually go into the pool.

4. Leaving pool/dinner party (before the dinner!) to go to work is NO FUN!

Avi and Itai had so much fun having a little visitor and going to the pool and we didn't mind too much either.

Did You Know?

2011-08-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Did you know that in Israel Dennis the Menace is known as Avi Shovavani?I'm not sure why I brought that up. I guess I just thought I'd mention. The good news is that our pantry is now cleaner than ever!

My Backyardagains

2011-08-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

Is there something more scaled back than a "staycation?" Because it looks like that's what were having this summer. Something like a back-yard-play-cation.

Oh well, the boys seem happy enough with the arraignment. Itai LOVES his car. He could ride it all day every day.

I now have proof that it is possible to get a picture of Avi smiling!

Of course we've all seen Itai smiling.

But his riding-my-trike smile is extra special.

Can you tell he was getting tired?

I had to throw this one in because Debbie says it looks like Avi is praying at the Western (Wailing) Wall in Jerusalem. In reality he's enjoying the wind from an air conditioning unit.

Itai was really sad about going back inside. I told him he could help me take some pictures. This one was my favorite, even if I do look terrible.

We're Are Pioneers!

2011-07-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Avi's school went to This is the Place Heritage Park and we were able to go with them. Itai was unbelievably excited. There was a very long wait in the hot sun at the beginning was enough to try both boys' patience. After we were finally allowed to enter the park both boys perked right back up. After going through old buildings and getting a demonstration from a fairly grumpy pioneer the excitement started to fade again. Lucky for us, this train happened by. Itai was in train heaven. Avi was happy to get a break. We took the train all the way around the park and it still wasn't enough for either of them, but we had other plans ahead for them.

Once we got close to the horses Itai forgot all about the train. Avi was excited too. Itai insisted on wearing his "cowboy hat" while he rode his trusty steed. Avi wasn't as interested in what he wore, he was more interested in sitting on top of the horse. He was ready to climb on and get going immediately.

After the very short ride we went over to the petting zoo. Avi was happy to touch all the animals, except the pig. I can't blame him, the pig felt nasty. Itai on the other hand didn't touch a single one. His arms were pinned to his chest and he loudly refused to be let down on the ground.

Then it was back on the tour and into the heat. Avi's wrist band was a bit of an annoyance to him. It eventually became an ankle band.

Itai enjoyed his freedom and wondered around wanting to stay with us and the class, but wanting space to be on his own.

We continued the tour for some time, but once Avi leaped onto an authentic pioneer bed and earned us terrified gasps from the pioneer woman "living" in the cabin I thought it was probably time to leave.

We hopped the train around the park again.

We even got to board the caboose after a bit. When it arrived at the exit we headed for the car with very little complaining, mostly because they were both too hot and thirsty to put up any big fight.

We'll have to go back and try the panning for gold, the "pirate ship," and the Native American village. Hopefully next time Avi will be a little more into it, and I will be smart enough to bring a real camera and a lot of water!

The Talk of the Town

2011-07-22T00:40:00.000-07:00

Itai's favorite role now is that of spokesperson. He nearly never stops talking. He even talks in his sleep! The other day we were all in the car and he was carrying on his comprehensive narrative of our surroundings. Debbie and I were trying to discuss something and she turned and said, "Itai, shhh!"

He didn't wait long before saying, "Why? I need to talk!" We laughed pretty hard and he said it a few more times before returning to his regularly scheduled description of everything he could see.

Here is his list of favorite phrases:

Leave me alone! (I am not a big fan of this one.)

Why?

I really missed you!

What's your name?

Thank you, mommy/abba!

I not need to!

Not yet! (This one is in response to being asked to do anything.)

Where his/her friends?

It's like just me/Avi!

Happy birthday ____! Even though it isn't the person's birthday.

And his favorite silly thing to say: What are you talking about!?

He really is quite a talker. He loves making videos to send to Debbie while she's at work. In one video he wanted to say, "I love you mommy!" We made the video and he was so happy to see it. He instantly wanted to make another one. This time though he decided to change things up a bit. He surprised me by announcing, "I love donuts! I love donuts!"

Our little brother makes sure that things are always exciting.

Aloha School Year

2011-06-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

Avi's school year ended and with it ended his years of preschool. Starting in August he'll be a full fledged elementary school student. Who can believe it?

The last day was kind of a blur... The last day of school ended with a luau. Itai was very excited to get to go to Avi's school because he loves playing with the Mac Truck from Cars and he even found a Doc "The Hornet" Hudson this time. He was also really excited for his Hawaiian shirt.

Avi didn't seem to think much of his Hawaiian shirt, but he really didn't want to wear the leis. After the limbo and hula lessons there was a little ceremony. Nine of the 10 boys in the class are moving on to Kindergarten. Some of them will be staying at Pingree while others are moving to public schools or different agencies. Avi was given a "Promotion Certificate" and an award for being the class acrobat.

Avi stayed pretty laid back during the most part.

Itai joined in the fun for coloring and snacks.

Avi wasn't entirely entertained by all of the program. Itai learned to say, "Aloha!"Congrats to our little graduate!

Now party!

Debbie kept saying she was feeling kind of sad about the end of the school year. She was asking if I felt sad and honestly I just felt excitement because I'm really proud of him; he's really done a great job. Then, just before everyone left (a few of the boys were gone) there was an impromptu class picture. Suddenly I did feel kind of sad. I spent a fair amount of time in the class and really liked the teachers and the students. Suddenly it was clear that this was the end of the year and we'd probably never see many of these kids and some of the teachers again. Suddenly the words of my end of year program were actualized and it struck me.

In Gratitude

Ten little boys apart from others,
Bound together, by fate made brothers,
Once more in boyish union combine
‘Ere the bands of brotherhood resign.

Through the door they so oft passed
They gather in upon their last
Perhaps ne’er to combine again
This band of boys, these brothers ten.

These boys forever in your debt
Whose voices cannot express as yet
The purest thanks you deserve to hear
As teacher, friend, and sister dear,

Voice in silence and a grateful heart,
Through smiles and tears as they depart
The thanks not understood by others
Save you few who forged these brothers.

Avi had a great year and we owe a lot to his teachers and classmates. Thanks everyone!

Just Keep Swimming

2011-06-19T20:46:00.001-07:00

Avi recently started swimming lessons. He loves it. He LOVES it! The instructor was once a behavior therapist with a local school district and works well with Avi. He trusts her implicitly (I wish I could say the same of me) even though she tells him "Bummer!" when he swallows water or slips under. He follows her instructions as well as he ever follows any and smiles the entire time.

At his first lesson he was practicing swimming with her and his developmental pediatrician was there with his son who has autism. As they approached the side of the pool where all of the gear is stored Avi said something Debbie didn't quite hear, but the swimming instructor and the pediatrician both heard him and said, "Yeah, flippers!" It seems that he had seem them on the side and realized what they are. We have never heard him say flippers before and aren't really sure how he know knew, but they were both positive that he said flippers.

After Avi was comfortable with the teacher and the process we brought Itai along. He loves it too, but he doesn't look like he trusts her any further than he can swim. He has a look that says "Make sure she doesn't drown me!" every time she holds him. Debbie says is all in my head, but I'm telling you if you saw it you would want to scoop him out of her hands! She says Itai is a natural swimmer and will probably learn to swim quickly. He loves swimming too.

Since all of us were swimming we didn't get pictures of Itai in the pool. Instead please enjoy these never before seen photos of Itai at the neighborhood Easter egg hunt and the post hunt cake.

As long as they avoid the scuba students who are constantly swarming underfoot like sharks they have have fun. I got tripped up by one of them, though he would probably describe it as me attacking him.

One a very different note, Sahara Cares is coming!! We loved Sahara Cares last year and are so excited to go back. If anyone wants to come party with us this year we'd love the company! And if you know anyone who has a child with autism that doesn't know about it spread the word!

Cookies and Cowboys

2011-05-29T00:11:00.001-07:00

School's out for the summer (for me at least) and even though I have more time it obviously has not been spent blogging. Oops. I've spent a fair amount of time reading all the books I didn't get to read during school, trying to find adventures for us, playing some Wii and trying out a new pastime.

Debbie has been spending this time working full time. That's right, 40 hours a week. It's been a big change for us, but Debbie has been awesome at home and at work earning the admiration of her supervisors and her subordinate (me).

Avi and Itai have been as active as ever. Avi has been has been progressing at school and even went on a field trip. We hear he loved it. His therapist left Utah for her wedding and won't be coming back. She was really good with Avi, but he's still doing well in his therapies without her. At one session his therapist gave him a box of juice. She was trying to persuade him to talk about it so she mentioned that Cookie Monster was on the box. She kept talking about Cookie Monster, imitating him, singing about cookies and so on. Then they moved on to something else. Eventually he wanted his juice back so he said, "Want drink!" Then he paused for a second and said, "Want drink cookie!" Debbie and the speech therapist realized what he meant at the same time and started laughing. He was happy to drink his cookie juice.

Itai is continuing to learn and grow. He is fascinated with just about anything mechanical, but he especially loves trains and garbage trucks. He's also learning about people. For instance he recently learned about cowboys and they cool things they get to do. Our little town has no shortage of belt buckle bearing, cowboy boot and hat sporting men. We were walking into the grocery store when one of these men came out. Itai looked up, gasped and said with all the decibels of his toddler excitement, "He have horsey! He ride horsey, Abba!" I smiled and whispered, "Yeah, you're right." The man just stared at us while Itai didn't take my whispering hint. Then he shouted, "He a cowboy!"

So the last month has been a fun mix of growing, playing, reading and cookies and cowboys.

Holiday

2011-05-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

I feel pretty lucky. My little family got to celebrate Passover and Easter this week.

Almost all of Debbie's family gathered at our place, even her brother in New York joined us via Skype. In our typical fashion we prepared enough food to feed all of the children of Israel during their sojourn. The boys helped me transport wagon-load after wagon-load to our neighborhood clubhouse. Debbie's brother in law in from the South and as such seems to have been born with a genetic predisposition to barbecue with a panache I'll never master. I was very relieved to hear that he'd be the one grilling the lamb. That is until we found out later that he wouldn't make it to the dinner until later. I did NOT want to be the one who ruined Passover. Luckily the lamb shanks turned out to pretty tasty, but I wouldn't gamble any other holiday on my shaky barbecuing skills.

All of the males wore kipas or yarmulkes. Itai loved it. Avi did not. Neither of their reactions surprised me at all. I spent a great deal of the night looking for Avi's kipa, chasing him down, or sneaking him food because he just could wait any longer to eat. Itai was pleased to sit and drink the grape juice we had in the place of wine.

Once dinner was ready and everyone was gathered Saba began his discourse on the Passover and it's connection to the Atonement. It is an interesting topic and my favorite part was his discussion on the Savior and his last Passover. The elegant simplicity is beautiful.

Then a few days later we met with the other side of our family for Easter. This gathering was a bit smaller than most of our family's gathering. We missed the people who weren't there, but it was nice to see the family members who were there.

Sadly, I forgot my camera so I didn't get photos of Avi running in circles with Itai and Aileah in his wake. Or Heather and Valerie talking while throwing crocheted chicks at the children. I missed out on pictures of Sheri playing with the three children while the rest of us noisily chat over Easter dinner. I missed out on pictures of my mom sitting in the middle of most of her family with a gentle smile on her face, a smile I am glad to see.

I am lucky to be able to celebrate both holidays and to be able to celebrate with people I love so much and who are so incredibly kind to me. I am grateful for a holiday week spent reflecting on the Savior and his Atonement while surrounded by family.

Learning to Paraglide

2011-04-17T12:50:00.001-07:00

My photography class required us to turn in two photos of landscapes. One of my photos was of a little plant peeking out of the crack in my driveway. My teacher really liked it but said it wasn't technically a landscape (I think her mind just wasn't open enough!). So Itai and I went on a "mountain hike" looking for true landscape photos. While he and I hiked around a trail we stumbled upon a couple standing with their backs to the cliff, facing parachutes spread out on the ground. Occasionally the parachutes would be lifted by the breeze and the would-be paragliders would pull against them, their bodies leaning sharply toward the steep cliff behind them. Itai was fascinated by them, or I should say, by their parachutes.

He asked to go closer and even though they weren't providing us with landscape photos I agreed. We went from one bench to another, slowly making our way to the bench directly in front of them. We were greeted by their beautiful and friendly dog who seemed to take a shine to Itai, though he did not seem to take a similar shine to her friendliness.

We eventually moved on. As we walked past the more experienced of the two he looked at me and Itai and smiled. I felt obligated to say something. I said something about how Itai was enthralled with the whole process they had been repeating over and over for at least a half an hour. He said he was enthralled with it too; it was hard not to be! Then I asked what the chances of him getting up were. He said on a day like this, not very good. I told him that was too bad, because they would probably really be missing out.

Then he told me something that didn't mean much to me at the time, but the more I've thought about the more I like it.

He looked down at his parachute as it flitted slightly in the wind and said, "It's okay, sometimes you learn more when you don't get off the ground."

The more I think of it the more this philosophy appeals to me.

Sometimes in life we stand with our backs to the cliff, our goals somewhere high above us and our parachutes lying flat on the ground, or perhaps rising with promise only to fall before they can carry us to new heights.

I think back on the many times in my life when I have failed to attain a goal I have set for myself and how often I have felt like a failure. I feel shame at these failures and I feel fear about facing future failures. In fact, last week in class we were asked to write our greatest fear on a sheet of paper. Not knowing these would be read aloud and the class would then attempt to guess the author of these little notes I wrote down "failure". Once I realized what was happening my note could have read "Having my note read aloud!" Fortunately, we ran out of time before my card was drawn and my top secret fear was revealed to the group.

I think the threat of failure will always bring fear for me, but I'm trying to look at not achieving my goals in a different light. I didn't fail; I just had a chance to learn more from the ground. Then, when I am able to leave the ground, I will have learned lessons I could never have learned while in the air.

Mr. Big Stuff

2011-04-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well, not much has been happening in our house lately. Sprinter (Utah's has no real Spring; it's a Spring-Winter mix) has been as lovely as usual. Despite the weather we've been able to get outside here and there. One big thing that we are pleased to announce is...

That's right! Itai has learned how to pedal! We were playing outside today when I decided it was high time for him to pedal. The whole thing is overwhelming for Avi. There really is a lot to do: keep your feet up and moving, push on the pedal (which is uneasy input for him), steer, look and balance.

Itai started slowly, but very soon he was cruising down the street to the our favorite grassy hill. He was so proud so himself. He kept shouting,"Baby on bike! Baby on bike!"

We played at the hill until they were worn out, but Itai still wanted to ride his trike back home.

Itai isn't the only one doing something impressive. Avi has been keeping busy himself. He has really opened up the last few weeks. His eye contact has really improved and suddenly he has begun doing everything he can to communicate. He is speaking, even using new words or words we haven't heard in ages! The other day he said, "Want see Einsteins!" He's using sign language, here he is happily signing "balloon" while holding a beloved example.

Yep, it's been a pretty fun couple of days.

I'm Aware

2011-03-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day this year. If you see buildings with blue lights shining on them April 1st and 2nd you'll know why.

There weren't any "Light It Up Blue" (click for events near you!) backgrounds for our blog, but I wanted to participate anyway. I thought I'd just briefly share some of the times that I have been especially aware of autism.

One tiny little moment shines through as a moment in which I was truly aware of autism. We had been visiting Saba and Savta (Hebrew grandma and grandpa) and were on our way home. Avi truly loves them and really enjoyed being cuddled, fed and spoiled. As we walked past the windows of the other apartments in their building I saw an older man open the door and a boy who must have been his grandson come rushing in with all the force of childhood excitement. He ran into his grandpa's open arms and squeezed as tightly as he could. I looked down on the verge of tears realizing that while Avi loves us his expressions of love may never be as exuberant and may never be as obvious. My heart hurt to think of what he and his grandparents were missing. Even thinking about these two strangers locked in an embrace they probably don't even remember is enough to bring me to tears.

I was aware of autism on a hotel shuttle to Disneyland when a mother, angry with her child for being excited and wiggly turned and snarled, "What are you, autistic?!" I was aware then how many moments Avi may be forced to feel different and even bad.

I am aware of autism every time a bagger asks Avi how old he is and looks at me questioningly and then with pity when he pays them no attention whatsoever.

I am aware of autism every time I look at my beautiful son sleeping. When I wonder how, just by closing his eyes, he is so changed. His hands finally calm. He no longer feels the need to flap or finger flick. His silent mouth is silent still, but now it is expected. His closed eyes hide their secret inability to look into anothers. His feet that never stop moving are relaxed. An observer who didn't know him would never guess how he struggles each day.

Finally, I am aware of autism every time I think about the future. Every time I wonder when Avi will be, how he will get along without me and whether our efforts today will make a meaningful difference for him tomorrow. I am aware of autism when I answer the question, "How is he doing?" with a smile instead of with tears.

Thank all of you for being aware with me.

Insomnia

2011-03-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Avi woke up around 2:00 this morning...again. He sometimes has trouble sleeping. I was already awake and reading having sleeping problems of my own. Normally when he wakes up so early I'm trying every strategy I can think of to get him, and me, back to sleep. This morning though I was in no hurry to get back to bed. He just cuddled up between me and my book and relaxed. Finally I could see he was getting tired again so I put the book down and turned off the light. I spent the next half hour or so watching him slowly drift off to sleep.

It reminded me of when I was younger. My family had a big white van. That van was the scene of many family famous stories. There were trips to grandma's where the Christmas tree would be hidden behind a mountain of gifts and the return trip would include bags and bags of new toys, books, clothes and other Christmas spoils. There was the summer trip to California. And who could forget the last van story, Great Van Fire of 1990. But my favorite of all the van stories was my scam. Sometimes when we would be out at night I would pretend to fall asleep. Then my dad would come, pick me up and take me to my bed. I loved being carried to my bed. This morning I got to be on the other side. I got to pick up a little boy (who wasn't pretending) and carry him to his bed. I loved it just as much as I loved being carried.

I just hope Avi doesn't tell Itai about it or I'll never get any sleep again!

The Luck of the Irish

2011-03-20T17:10:00.000-07:00

We're Irish...kinda. But everyone is Irish once a year right? This year Avi's Irish luck provided him with a lucky change.

A few months ago Avi's occupational therapist (OT) told Debbie that she didn't think she (the OT) was helping Avi and she didn't think she should see him anymore. She gave a referral and wished us luck. We were pretty bugged. We have been ditched by therapists before who have said the same thing. We just wanted someone to say, I'm not sure I'm helping him, but I'm not giving up. Since that didn't happen we took her referral and met with the new OT. She was kind and was careful not to push Avi too hard too quickly. She wanted to build a good rapport with him. She also wanted to know where he was and what we wanted him to get out of the sessions. Once she got a good feel for his situation she was off and running. She decided to use tokens so Avi would know how many tasks he has to complete, i.e. puzzle pieces he had to place, things he had to count, etc) he wasn't exactly excited about it at first.

She said she really wanted to find out what would get him most regulated because she believed that he could do any of the tasks once his sensory needs were met. She tried a few different things. Swings, ball pits, slides whatever she could think of. Her efforts were met with little success at first. Finally she pulled out the layered Lycra swing. At first he was going wild, loving the feeling of being lightly squeezed in it. Then she changed his position in the swing. The change was immediate. He calmed down completely. She started swinging him in figure eights. The calm that came over him was powerful. Eventually she told him it was time to work. He sat in his desk and put the elephant toys together, tail to trunk, one at a time without any verbal or physical prompts. He even handed her the tokens. His OT said this is why helping him learn to regulate his sensory needs himself is so important. We couldn't be happier that this OT did not give up even though it wasn't easy!

So Avi is now on a "sensory diet." He has to lift heavy things, swing, get rolled, get squished, blow through a straw, or doing deep pressure exercises. So far it has really helped him. He's able to sit longer and understand our instructions better.

She's Back

2011-03-07T18:54:00.001-08:00

Debbie is finally home, but she forgot to bring the warm weather she enjoyed with her. It is snowing...again. I've been so sick since she got home that we really haven't seen much of each other or done much of anything.

I'm feeling a little better everyday and hoping we'll get to do some fun things soon.

The last thing I did before Debbie got home (other than get food poisoning!) was rush my photography assignment. I really struggle with this class. Composition seems to come naturally to most of the other students while I'm making things up as I go along. Anyway, here's what I turned in. I was surprised that me teacher more or less liked my submissions.

Flash fill photo (with the sun behind and the flash bringing back some detail and color)Long Exposure (15 sec)- You can see the little airplane/helicopter streak in the sky...or maybe a UFO!
"Creative Light" Assignment. I wanted to make the trike a magical toy.

Dear Ima

2011-02-22T20:14:00.001-08:00

Dear Ima, We miss you a lot since you flew away on the "Georgia plane." We know you miss us too, but we know you'll be home soon. In the mean time, here's a peak at what we've been doing since you left.

Disneyland was great!

Just kidding!!

We spent a chilly, windy afternoon at the park.

We got in a little toy time.

We made some yummy cookies (but they won't last until you get home!) and tried them out.Can you believe I lobbied at the State Capitol? Our State Representative promised me to help fund Avi's scholarship! I'm such a good little brother.

If you're worried about how things are going here, don't. Abba has everything under control.

Well...almost everything.

Bath time gets a little bit crazy.

We get pretty worn out.

We can't wait until you come back!

Love,

Avi

and Itai

Two Words That Made My Night

2011-02-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

Before our children were born Debbie told me she wanted them to call her ema and me abba (Hebrew for mom and dad.) This suggestion was met with resistance. She told me she had always pictured her children using these names. I remember thinking to myself that I had always pictured my children calling me dad.

I had a conversation about this with Debbie's mom. She told me when her grandchildren started calling her "Savta" she was disappointed. It wasn't the name she always hoped to hear coming from the little mouths of her grandchildren. Then she thought about it and decided, "Who in Utah gets to be called Savta?" The truth is, there can't be that many Savtas around here. (She's full of wisdom like that.)

So I decided that Utah is full of dads and daddies, but there aren't very many abbas. The title suits me just fine now. In fact, when Debbie told me that Avi, a man of few words, looked around the house tonight and said, "Want Abba," it made my night.

Photography Class

2011-02-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

I had hoped to share pictures of the Face of Autism exhibit that Avi participated in, but we haven't yet received our copies of the photos. Stay tuned for photos (hopefully) in the near future.

Instead, here are some less interesting photos. :)

My first two assignments for my photography class were to take a photo of one object with a shallow field of focus and another photo of the same object with a deep field of focus. Here was my submission. I think one thing I've learned from this class is that I am not destined for photographic excellence!

Our second assignment was to take a picture of an object in motion using a fast shutter and another picture using a slower shutter. This one turned out to be a lot harder because the camera wanted to take control of the focus and it was difficult to match the exposures.

I owe an very special thanks to my awesome sister Valerie for letting me use her fancy smancy camera for this assignment! If it weren't for here I think this would have been a major challenge.

Road Age

2011-01-26T20:24:00.000-08:00

Freeways in Utah are a joy. Constant construction, insane drivers and, of course, the weather! The other day as Avi, Itai and I were making our way home we hit construction. Traffic was at a stop and I could see the lights ahead indicating the lane we were in would be closed ahead.

"Thank you UDOT," I muttered under my breath.

Suddenly, from the back seat I hear, "Thank you UDOT!"

I turn around and see Itai smiling.

"Thank you, abba! Thank you, Avi! Thank you, white truck! Thank you, blue car! Thank you, trees! Thank you, clouds! Thank you, hay truck!" And on and on and on.

Sitting there stuck in traffic, trying unsuccessfully to merge with traffic while listening to a toddler's nonstop thank yous I couldn't help but smile.

Thank you, Itai for reminding me to relax and be happy even while stuck in traffic.

Autism's Lessons

2011-01-21T00:54:00.000-08:00

Are you interested in reading a chapter of a book that will probably never get published? Well then today is your lucky day! Enjoy!

Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Autism

When working with children with autism (or even typical children) we seem to focus on what we can teach them or what we have to teach them. But one fact is as overlooked as it is important: the children we teach have a lot to teach us! I keep learning from my son and from other children. Some of these lessons come from the lessons the children are learning, while some come from the children themselves.

Self Care

Anyone who has a child with autism or works with children on the Spectrum has heard the term "self care." The focus here is helping children learn the basic skills of self feeding, dressing, grooming and other aspects of hygiene. Ok, most of us have mastered these skills (and I'm getting close), but I like the idea of learning self care. It looks a little different for the "neurotypical adult," at least the way I see it. Parents of any child can feel overwhelmed, exhausted or worn out. I think it's important for everyone to practice a little self care when they need it.

A Reward is a Terrible Thing to Waste

As Avi works in his program he is rewarded for doing what is asked of him. These rewards are candies, or fruits, or sometimes jumping on the trampoline. The reward is whatever his interest is. This reward idea is a pretty good one. We all do things we aren't interested in doing, but we do them anyway. Wouldn't it be great if we could give ourselves a reward from time to time? Or even better if we recognized the efforts of others and rewarded them.

Use Soft Hands with Friends

While being a friend sometimes means being brutally honest I think everyone could stand to be a little nicer. Some believe that a lack of friends who know how to be mean when they need to be hurts our society. Why can't we use soft hands and words with the people we love?

Sensory Breaks

For many children on the Spectrum the world is too full of sights, sounds, smells, tastes and even tactile sensations. In order to combat this many children have an agreement at school to take a break in a quiet, private room where their sensory needs can be met. Brilliant! Couldn't we all use a sensory break now and then? When all of life gets to be a bit too much why not take a sensory break and just breathe for a moment?

Not Talking is Not the Same as Not Having Something to Say

People commonly think that a child who doesn't speak doesn't have anything to say. Of all the things people believe about autism this one may be the most incorrect. Avi doesn't say much and he sometimes seems to be on an entirely different plane from those around him, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have an opinion and it certainly doesn't mean he doesn't have something important to say. The things that Avi and other children on the spectrum say have surprised and astounded me several times. There is a reason the term "dumb" is no longer used to describe someone who doesn't speak! We sometimes forget that silence isn't bad, that we don't have to fill ever quiet second with speech.

Finding a Voice

I have heard several people talk about helping Avi "find his voice." He can speak, he just doesn't. The problem is he just hasn't found the need to talk. I have been surprised by how, as I have sought to help Avi "find his voice," I have found my own. When Avi was first diagnosed I could barely utter the word. I couldn't conceive of talking about it publicly, I couldn't even imagine telling a stranger that my son had autism. It was intensely personal. Now I have found that I have truly found my voice. He isn't speaking for himself and I cannot escape the feeling that I have to speak for him until he does find his voice. Sometimes the best way to find your voice is to help someone else find theirs.

Say "Please"

As Avi is learning to talk, but he's also learning to talk politely. He often reminded when asking to say please. He's getting pretty good at remembering now, but reminding him to say please reminds me that we all need to say please.

Marching to the Beat

As I have been in involved with Avi's various programs I've noticed that there are all sorts of drummers and all sorts of beats. Children with autism tend to march to the beat of whatever drummer happens to play for them. Most of us are concerned about how our march will look when compared to other's, sometimes so concerned that we fail to be ourselves. I like the idea of marching to the beat your own drummer no matter what it may look like.

Whether You're Looking for Differences or Similarities You're Likely to Find Them

I've noticed that people who ask me about autism are most often interested in finding out the differences between children with autism and neurotypical children. There are a lot of differences so if you're looking for them you'll find them. I have met few people who are interested in finding out what makes children with autism similar to other children. I love this viewpoint. It is a viewpoint of inclusion, not exclusion. I love the thought of of finding similarities instead of finding differences. I wish more people, myself included, could adopt this thought pattern.

Acceptance

I have never seen any of Avi's classmates reject a child or adult. They may not be able to connect with others the way typical children do, typically children with autism treat everyone the same way. Whether they are friendly to everyone or aloof from everyone the reaction tends to be similar to everyone. I think a world where people accepted others for who they are would be a great place.

And the list goes on.

Yes, children with autism have a lot to learn about functioning in a non-autistic world, but maybe, just maybe, we could learn something from these children. Maybe if we were all a little autistic the world would be a better place.

Sick and Stuck

2011-01-16T11:22:00.001-08:00

Both boys have been sick for a month. Oh wait, it was only a week? It sure felt a lot longer! They both had fevers and a cough and the worst runny noses in the long history of runny noses. It was also the first week of the semester, so it was a bit rough. Both boys are healthy now, but they've been going stir crazy (which I learned comes from the word stariben, which is Gypsy for prison) being stuck indoors.

It has been a pretty sad week, so let's look back to a happier, healthier time.

Before everyone got sick we had a little fun in the sun day. Well, it was a bit more of a fun in the hazy 30 degree sun day. Either way the boys loved their day outdoors. Two weeks of not getting above freezing made going outside pretty painful. I just keep reminding myself that Spring is only 63 days away. Brrrr!Of course Spring in Utah isn't always very punctual.

Avi's Good Fortune

2011-01-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

Avi has been extremely lucky to have wonderful teachers at school and at church. He (and we) haven't always been so lucky, but this year he hit the jackpot!

First off, at school his team of teachers are very caring and concerned about him. They are also very good at communicating with us. They involve us in the decision making process in every step and make sure that every thing they do is in Avi's best interest.

At Church his teachers were a wonderful couple who were very proactive in learning what they can do to help him in church. Beyond that they participated with us in the Walk for Autism. Whenever we printed off some information or gave them a suggestion they ran with it. They were recently asked to help out in a different capacity so they will not be Avi's teachers anymore. We were incredibly sad to hear they were moving on. But before they left they told us they want to stay involved with him and participate in anyway they can. They even said that if we don't call them to babysit they will just show up!

We owe all of his teachers a very sincere thank you. So to all of you, thank you so much!

Dear Teacher

Taking my son’s hands in yours
You do not take his alone.
For when you take him by the hands
You also take my own.

You hold my hopes, my plans, my fears;
You hold my every whim.
In fact you hold my very dreams
When you are holding him.

To place his hands into another’s
Is not so easily done,
But hands like yours are perfect made
For a child like my son.

Hands soft enough to comfort,
Yet strong enough to guide,
Hands which show daily,
Your quiet strength inside.

Please accept these words, though weak,
As no mere platitudes
But truest expressions of my thanks

And endless gratitude

News to Me

2011-01-08T23:26:00.000-08:00

Avi and I appeared very briefly on the local news this week. This appearance fits in perfectly with the new year. How? Well, my appearance on the news led me to a New Years Resolution:
"Don't ever appear on TV again!"

There are several reasons to avoid TV cameras.

1. I was terribly, terribly nervous.
2. I sounded like an idiot.
3. My voice should NOT be preserved for posterity.
4. After watching the clip a coworker looked at me and said, "You look cross eyed."
5. My own brother teases me about being, "Shaky voiced."
6. My coworkers in the emergency room seem to think I owe them ice cream for being on TV. (I don't understand either!)

Yeah, I'll stick to anonymity.

So, here's to one New Year's resolution that will be pretty easy to accomplish!

As for the Wakefield study, the most upsetting part of the entire thing is the fact that this study fueled the guilt that many parents feel. Then there is the fact that the limited resources available for autism research have been deliberately diverted away from other studies that could have actually found the cause.

A First

2010-12-31T20:32:00.001-08:00

I had no intentions of posting any recipes in my blog. I'm not a recipe type of person so naturally this isn't really a recipe type of blog. But demands have been made, so after 124 posts I am finally posting a recipe.

Debbie's grandma used to make shortbread chocolate chip cookies and Debbie suddenly missed the cookies and wanted to try making them. They were really good and are now really gone! (At least they would have been if not for the batch she made tonight!)

So without further ado, enjoy the recipe. (And come on over if you want some of the finished product.)

Shortbread Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup white sugar
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).
2. Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt, set aside. In a medium bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy. Gradually stir in the dry ingredients, then stir in the walnuts and chocolate chips.
3. Roll or scoop dough into walnut sized balls. Place them on unprepared cookie sheets 1 1/2 inches apart. Flatten cookies slightly. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until light golden brown. Remove from sheets to cool on racks.

Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
1 cup butter (no substitutes)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate
Chips
Directions:
1. Melt butter in a microwave or double boiler; stir in vanilla. Cool completely. In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar; stir in butter mixture and chocolate chips (mixture will be crumbly).
2. Shape into 1-in. balls. Place 2 in. apart on ungreased baking sheets; flatten slightly. Bake at 375 degrees F for 12 minutes or until edges begin to brown. Cool on wire racks.

Trying to Recover

2010-12-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

First there were visions of sugarplums,

Then there was a quick message about the nativity.

Yeah, those are bows on the candies and on the vase of ornaments. We decorate just about everything around here. Then there was a flurry of paper, bows, ribbon and toys. Looking back I remember smiles and a huge mess. The presents ended up in one area while a hug pile of the leftovers were left in the corner. Months of shopping, planning, hiding, wrapping and anticipating ended in a few moments of feverish tearing and to to the cheers of, "More presents!"

Luckily for these two spoiled children the gift giving ceremonies were only getting started. They still had trip to grandma and grandpa's where they would be spoiled by aunts, uncles and cousins alike.

The end result? A home that has more toys, books, movies and clothes than spaces to hold it all! Not to mention two little boys who can't go an inch without finding something to play with, climb in, read or wear!

They've even had time to reinvent the Nativity scene.

Thanks Santa!

And everyone else for making Christmas so much fun!

We're Back

2010-11-27T20:32:00.000-08:00

Another pilgrimage to Disneyland is completed. This time our group was eleven members strong. That's right. We walked around Disneyland with two strollers, one electric wheelchair and eight people on feet. As you can imagine getting around as a group was an experience.
I'll spare you all the gory details of our trip and just discuss a few highlights/low lights.

Avi's tantrums are reaching epic proportions. The first few days he was so agitated at not being able to use the bathroom when he wanted (he still had major anxiety about public bathrooms) and not eating the foods he was used to. Also, it was a little bit cool there so he wasn't very comfortable. The first two nights he had major meltdowns and abruptly ended our nights. The third day Avi peed in a Disneyland potty twice. He was so much more comfortable that we were able to stay in the park as late as we wanted. Then the fourth night he used the potty the whole day. We lost count of how many times he used it! He lasted the whole night long and was so comfortable he was actually able to enjoy the parades, the rides and especially the company of his cousins. Going potty in a public bathroom opened up so many doors for Avi and we couldn't be more proud of him!

Itai wasn't interested in the potty. He was very interested in the magic of Disneyland. He loved the rides. After Pirates of the Caribbean he said he wanted to be a pirate. He loved seeing Buzz Lightyear and begged to give him a hug. Most of all he liked seeing Lightning McQueen. As he passed us on the parade route Itai's eyes lit up and a HUGE smile broke on his face. He reached for "McQueen" and wanted to hug him. It was so cute! He also loved spending time with his cousins. As we walked home one night he started saying, "More cousins! More cousins, now!"

Other than those things we had rode the rides, ate the food, wore ourselves out and had fun.

Most of these pictures were taken by our niece/cousin Amber. Thanks Amber!

More Potty Talk

2010-11-14T06:11:00.000-08:00

What a busy couple of weeks it has been! Aside from all of the usual appointments, classes, work and play schedule I've had to make room for an old friend who came back to visit: insomnia. I have been having trouble staying asleep lately, but I'm not alone. Either Avi or Itai are often up to help avoid any loneliness I might feel in the middle of the night.

Oh melatonin, why have you lost your power?

Aside from their new night shift the boys have been working on some pretty exciting things.

Avi was given a "social story" book from school. Social stories are very simple stories that are frequently used with children on the autism spectrum to help them know what to anticipate in new situations, overcome anxieties about difficult situations they are familiar with or to help them connect a story to something they enjoy. Avi's story was designed to help him overcome his toilet anxieties. We are meant to add pictures of "novel" toilets (toilets he doesn't use every day) to help him understand he can use the restroom in a variety of places and he can even use it to "do number 2." (You never know when a squeamish reader will stumble upon this.)

Little did the teachers know that Avi had already had success in pooping on the potty at home. Debbie put him down and told him to do it not knowing what to expect and suddenly he had done it. After that he's had more and more success. It makes him so happy and proud every time. He jumps up and down, claps for himself and draws our attention to it. He's still had a few accidents along the way but this is such a HUGE step for him...and us. I'm not kidding even a little when I say my quality of life improved a great deal with even his first success.
Other than that he continues to progress in his school program. He's working really hard and we couldn't be more pleased with his efforts. He's still happy and wiggly, but he's learning to set the energy aside until a more appropriate time.

Itai, not to be outdone is having his own potty success. Last week as we left church I carried him past the restroom. He insisted that I take him to the potty. As soon as he got to the potty he was peeing. He's doing great at it. His biggest obstacle is his stubbornness. He loves using the potty as long as it's his idea. If we suggest it he can get quite irritable about it.

He's also quite the little talker. This week he's learned some new works and phrases. His newest one is, "I don't know." He also introduced, "Give pencil back!" "Avi did it!" and "Not ____" He fills the blank in with whatever he wants to argue about. Right now he's arguing that one of his race cars is not a race car, just a car. Ok. It's just a car with a cockpit for one, aerodynamic design, racing stripes and a huge spoiler.
Itai has also decided that following Avi's every footstep is the greatest pastime ever. Avi really hates it, but he's found a new activity. Toys! He is finally looking with and playing (kind of appropriately) with age appropriate toys.

What cool kids!

Life on this Side

2010-11-02T07:26:00.001-07:00

On the recommendation of a friend I finally got around to reading "Just This Side of Normal: Glimpses into Life with Autism" by Elizabeth King Gerlach. This book is a brief description of life with her son, Nicky. At just over 140 pages with large print it is a very easy read. The read becomes even easier thanks to her straight forward and heartfelt writing style.

From the very beginning of the book I was in. I love her constant desire to find a connection between autism and everyday life. Her son loves to spin and she describes the looks of derision that result from his constant twirling, but she says she finds comfort in the thought that the whole world is spinning. The spinning of the Earth means that everything we do, we do spinning.

I feel very strongly about the narrative of autism that is being created in the media. Books in large measure are written to describe one extreme or the other. People with autism are being portrayed as either "savants" or "savages." These descriptions only serve to further the stigma of autism. Instead of humanizing people with autism they alienate them. This isn't to minimize the savant or their experience, but I think it is important that every aspect of the person should be explored, not only the extraordinary, but the mundane as well. This book does a great job of striking a balance between her son's savant-like abilities, his extreme rigidity and yes, even his "typical" characteristics.

I was pleasantly surprised to find many of the author's thoughts so closely reflected my own. One quote in particular made me want to stand and shout, "Amen!" Describing reactions to her son's disability she says, "Society views disability as a 'tragedy.' In fact, the greater tragedy is society's larger and erroneous view that their is such a state as 'normal.' This view, in itself, sometimes feels like a greater burden than the disability." Beautiful. Simple. Absolutely how I feel.

This book meanders and wanders from story to story, experience to experience leaving you, at times, to wonder if it getting anywhere. In this it is truly a "glimpse into life with autism." Life with autism frequently seems to go from one experience to another leaving you to wonder if you are getting anywhere.

I really enjoyed reading this book. It is a very honest and simple look at life with autism, with no agendas or hook. Please, borrow this book from me. No, seriously read this one!

Trick or Treat!

2010-10-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Halloween may have come and gone (even if it is still Halloween), but the requests for candy may never end. The pumpkin candy buckets are still being carried around and Itai is still sporting his wings around saying, "Fly!"

Somehow Halloween stretched to three days of celebration. First, we decided to carve our pumpkins. I knew that the inside of the pumpkin would be an unwelcome sensation for Avi, but I thought we could just try. It turns out that Itai and I didn't like it that much either. Why don't I ever think about these things? Oh well, next year we'll have paint available. Either way, Debbie wasn't interested in carving so it was just the manly men and the pumpkins. Avi decided quickly that he too did not want to do it. He came back every once in a while to chew on the pumpkin guts (yuck!) and to poke at the pumpkin with the little tool we bought. Itai stayed to use the shovel to scoop out the insides and to put the lids on and off over and over. All I can say is that I'm glad that's over with! :)
Next up was Avi's school's "Fall Parade." Why can't they call it Halloween? Who knows? Anyway, Avi got to wear his costume, parade around in the gym and then go back to his class for a party. I was lucky enough to volunteer at his school that day so I got to help the kids get ready for the party. They were definitely ready for the party. The energy in the room was very high and when they finally got to put their costumes on everyone was ready to show them off. Avi's class had a Thomas the Tank Engine, a Raggedy Andy, one very excited Ironman complete with a light up chest, Batman, a doctor, Frankenstein, a vampire and of course, Woody.
The parade was a sensory filled experience with really loud music, extra clothes, a gym full of people taking pictures and of course, the constant promise of candy. Luckily for the kids, the parade ended quickly and the parties began after a quick trick or treating tour.

The kids played games and did crafts then they got to the best part: eating!

Itai's Fall parade was much shorter. They got dressed up, had a parade combined with trick or treating and that was it. Itai realized very quickly that he liked this very much. He extended his baggie to anyone who he suspected of being in possession of candy.

Saturday we hit the road to do a trunk or treat at with Aileah, her parents and Aunt Sheri. Because of the rain we were moved into a very crowded gym. Itai's wings bumped every child in his path and Avi was bumped around by the throngs of children eager to fill their bags.

Having cleaned out the gym we hit the streets. Five houses into our trip the rain came back with a vengeance ending this year's candy hunt. Look out next year! Itai has a taste for Halloween and he will be back! :)

Say What?

2010-10-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

Having gotten fairly accustomed to having a child who is nearly nonverbal I never really thought I'd have on of these posts, but what do you know, he spoke! Itai is talking nearly nonstop now, so he's bound to say things to make me laugh. Oh and Debbie, she's said a thing or two as well.

So what did Avi say?

Well, after his surgery when he finally started eating again he bellied up to the table to enjoy some chocolate ice cream. He slowly started eating his ice cream. He was in obvious pain and discomfort. After eating a bit he suddenly said in a deep and scratchy voice, "Disneyland?" We promised him that we would go, but first he had to get better.

Of course, Itai has to have everything Avi has so we got Itai a bowl too. Itai climbed into his chair, looked into his bowl and said, "No." We asked what was wrong and he said, "Poopoo!" At first we thought he had a dirty diaper, nope. He pushed his bowl away and said, "No! Poopoo!" Eventually we were able to convince him it was ice cream, but he still didn't seem to want it.

Now it's Debbie's turn. There is a little boy in Avi's class who calls me daddy every time I go volunteer. One of the teachers could tell that I wasn't exactly comfortable with this so she helped him repeat my name several times. He still calls me daddy the first time he sees me, but then I ask him what my real name is. "Jared!" We saw him at the fun fair with his parents. His dad is about my height and his head is shaved. Debbie saw him, turned to me and said, "No wonder he calls you daddy; you look just like him!" Zing! Clearly his dad is extremely handsome.

Today Itai was playing downstairs while I was upstairs putting the laundry away. I had barely gotten to the top of the stairs when I heard him screaming at the top of his lungs. I came running down to find out what happened. He scrambled up into my arms and said, "Truck!" I asked if he hit his head on a truck. He said, "No! "Fraid! Fraid! Truck!" It seems the garbage truck made a loud banging sound when it picked up the dumpster. Itai wouldn't let go until he had seen the garbage truck and realized it wasn't crashing into the garage.

Fun Fair!

2010-10-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Avi's school sent us a flyer announcing this year's Fun Fair. We weren't really sold on it until we saw these words, "Bounce Houses." Let me translate that for you, "Avi's Heaven on Earth." Ok, we had to go. There's nothing like adding extra fun to a really busy weekend, but a bounce house is something we couldn't forgive ourselves for missing.

We packed up and headed off to the fair. Other than Avi suddenly singing, "Saba, Saba" (Grandpa in Hebrew) when he thought we were heading there it was an uneventful ride. Who would have imagined the chaos that would ensue after this peaceful start?

When got to the school and didn't see any fair. We wondered if we weren't in the wrong place so Debbie went in to investigate. I parked the car and started to get the boys out. I had gotten both kids out when Debbie made her way back. She asked if I had locked the doors and I said no. I wondered to myself, "What was the reason I didn't lock the doors?" Oh well, on to the party!

Avi was in love! The school had rented out three huge bounce houses. Avi started in the dragon house. Itai saw it and said, "Dinosaur" and didn't want to climb in at all. We got to talk with one of Avi's teachers for a while. We found out that her nephew has autism and she'd volunteered at the school with him before he left the school. Now she's working there and she told us, "It's hard, but I go home rewarded every single day." It's truly nice to know the people to whom we've entrusted our son are good, kind people who really do care about him.

After Avi saw the inflatable slide he moved away from the dragon. Itai wanted to slide too, but the stairs were so steep that he couldn't manage. So the unfortunate slide had to deal with me pounding it as I climbed up the stairs and then went flying down the slide after Itai.

I would have liked to have had more pictures, but I was kinda busy going up and down with the other. . . er, with the children. But I was lucky enough not to have to pay to use the slide. A boy at the top was demanding money from each child to use the slide. When he asked me i told him I didn't have any. He said, "I'm the manager, but it's only pretend money." I told him I didn't have any money, but I was a pretend police officer. After that Itai and I had a free pass every time.

I was pretty tired from climbing and sliding over and over (Avi and Itai were not) so we decided to break for lunch. Itai was happily drinking his water, but Avi wanted his juice so we needed to get it from the car. That's when it dawned on me. The reason I hadn't locked the car was because the keys were still in there. Oops!

Can you see them there? It's kinda hard to see, but there they were taunting me.

I'll glaze over the horrible locksmith story and just say it's a really good thing that Avi's school has a great playground. Our little guys were so patient while we waited and waited.

Avi takes his play very seriously.Itai too. I guess they were all smiled out.

Finally the doors were open, we were in the car and on the road.

P.S. Avi had an appointment with a photographer today. She's doing an exhibit to raise awareness of autism. Keep posted for an update on when and where the exhibition will take place. Just don't hold your breath, it might be a year or so.

My Little Pumpkins

2010-10-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

Avi is still on the mend, slowly but surely. His appetite is definitely back and the pain is slowly fading away. He has been begging to eat at his favorite restaurant on earth for days. His diet is still pretty limited and he's already lost a few pounds, so when we accidentally drove past it at dinner time and he was completely heart broken. So we decided to go back later and reward him.

After devouring the jello he moved on to all of his other favorites. If it was soft enough for him to eat it was on his plate. It didn't take long for him to clean his plate start a new one either. This wasn't much of a surprise. He's been doing this the last few days. He scarfs down his food and moving on to something else.

Tonight he wasn't in a great mood, but when Uncle Tom walked through the door his mood suddenly changed. He was hugging, smashing and crowding Tom as much as he could. He calmed down a bit so we could go outside to cook the burgers. He and Itai enjoyed a nice swing in the cool wind until Aileah joined us. Once she came out Avi was on the moved and she and Itai spent some time swinging together until they all went for a little walking adventure.

Once dinner was over Itai and Aileah decided to get better acquainted. Itai was very happy to have a little playmate. He's been trying like crazy to get Avi to participate in games, but hasn't been able to yet. He and Aileah made a game of chasing each other then running into a favorite hiding place. They were screeching as loudly as possible and laughing hysterically about it. Sadly, the they both became camera shy and stopped screaming as soon as they saw me.

Thanks Aileah's mom and dad for coming and bringing her with!

After Aileah and her parents left Avi wanted to try out a new use for the pumpkins. It turns out the pumpkins are not exactly the best shoes. And you know what they say, "Itai see, Itai do." Isn't that the phrase? Whatever it is, that's what happened.

Of Tonsils and Superman

2010-10-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 4:00 on the dot with no alarm. Me, Mr. I-Couldn't-Wake-Up-for-An-Earthquake, woke up before anyone else. Avi had a 6:00 surgery we didn't want to be late. Once Avi's distraction were packed in his backpack and my distractions were in mine I realized 4:00 was probably a little too early. Oh well, everyone else was sleeping and Avi was spending his last remaining moments sleeping with his tonsils and adenoids. Little did he (or they) know that they'd soon be parting. Avi hated the little ID band. Eventually they cut it off and slapped a sticker on his back.

I woke Avi up a little after 5:00 and we were on our way. He was very tired and didn't know what was going on. He was pretty quiet the whole ride, but when he saw the Costco on the side of the freeway he finally spoke up. "Costco! Want Costco!" He wasn't allowed to eat any breakfast so I think when he saw Costco and thought of the samples and all the food it seemed like a possible and desirable destination. Sadly, our destination was nothing like Costco.

Our car was the first car in the hospital's parking lot. The halls were empty and I was really glad we'd done a different surgery at Primary's otherwise I wouldn't have known where to go. Avi was happy as could be and was bouncing around the empty hallways.

He did great with everything there, from the weigh in to the vitals, he even did great with having his medicine squirted up his nose. As the medicine kicked in he only got happier. A huge smile broke and he couldn't stop laughing at nothing, or everything. I thought it was kinda cute that Avi was drawn back to his little zebra. He is much bigger than the last time he sat on it.

They had me carry him to the OR doors and hand him off. He's grown so much since our last trip there that his long legs stuck out far from under my arms and the nurse said, "Oh, I didn't realize he's so long. Maybe we should have gotten a wagon." Oh well, it was a gurney from here on out.

The surgeon came and told us everything went well and we could see him soon. Surprise, surprise his recovery from the anesthesia was painfully slow. He refused to drink and the nurse insisted he drink his entire cup before leaving. He came back around 7:30 in the morning and at 11:20 he still hadn't had more than a sip. His nurse left for lunch and we let him sleep. We slipped out for some lunch of our own and when we came back we found the replacement nurse getting him ready for discharge. While the first nurse was gone she called the surgeon told him he wouldn't drink and according to his history was unlikely to drink while there. The surgeon said he could leave after a bolus which ended right when we got there. We were just leaving when the first nurse came back. She didn't seem happy that we were leaving. Sadly for her, we left and that was that.

Recovery has been slow and painful for Avi. Last night was pretty miserable for him (and us) but he's doing much better today. He's still not drinking, but he's got his appetite back. Thank goodness he loves Mandarin oranges! He's also eaten his ice cream that everyone said he HAD to have.

As soon as I stepped away from this Jello cup he pounced on it like a lion on a gazelle.

So, he's been sleeping, fighting the forceful administration of his medication, refusing to drink, eating, going to the bathroom and tonight for the first time since surgery, smiling.

I feel like I'm forgetting someone. Who could it be?

Oh right! Itai has had a completely different two days. His energy level is way up and he can't understand why Avi is falling asleep all the time. After being cooped up all day today he and I went to the park. I remembered a blog post from last year where we went to the park during fall break. It was sad remembering Avi was with us last year, but this year he was suffering on the couch. Itai enjoyed himself anyway. He has changed so much in the last year. Last year when we were at the park he was unsteady and couldn't cross the little bridge. This year he flew across it with no problem. Last year he couldn't swing because he was afraid and they didn't have the little kid swings. This year he went on the swing alone and even did Superman, even though when he was done he said, "No Superman!"

Itai has decided that he needs medicine too. He gets upset every time Avi is force fed his medicine. Today I pulled out an old syringe and filled it with juice. He loved getting his "medicine." Oi va voi! That kid never lets us rest.

This evening both boys are pretty tired and ready for bed, just like me!

On Our Anniversary

2010-09-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

It is difficult, maybe impossible, to predict what will happen tomorrow. On my wedding day six years ago I never could have predicted what would occur from that day to this. I never would have imagined all of the trials, difficulties and heartache we'd see, but the beauty is I could never have predicted all of the happiness, joy and enchantment that would ensue.

While I can't guess what the next six years will bring us, I'd like just a quick look back on some of the things the last six years brought us.

This is the place where I saw you for the first time. It's also the spot where you spent hours working, and I spent countless hours flirting and trying to get you to remember my name! I'm amazed I was allowed to get away with as much on-the-clock flirting as I did! So it wasn't our favorite job ever, but some did come out of it. Has a woman ever looked so cute in a uniform apron? I don't think so! I couldn't find a picture of you in your apron so this costume will have to do. (No one's ever been a cuter Egyptian princess either. My apologies, Nefertiti!)

I think our most beautiful, most romantic courting place was this little bench. We would spend your breaks sitting on this little bench chatting and getting spritzed by the car wash that I conveniently left out of the picture. I felt like the back of the gas station captured the mood better than the car wash. Nothing is more romantic than a gas station, right?
I know, you've been been wondering if I'd forgotten this place. How could I forget our time in this room? The break room at work was a hot bed for flirtatious notes written on napkins. Guess what, I still have some of those notes. On the rare occasion our breaks were together I got to have the best thirty minutes of my day here...ok maybe it was more like forty minutes.

Remember this? This is the gazebo where we could have (and should have) had our first kiss if only one, or both of us, were just a little less timid.Who could forget love park? I fell in love with you while you studied your Arabic flash cards right here.

I'm glad they finished the park. When we were there and the park was still under construction it wasn't nearly this pretty.

Recognize this? It's changed a lot since the last time we were here. The pool is new and the walk way has gotten a lot bigger, but this is the spot where we had our first kiss.

Do you remember the hours and hours we spent here? Provo Canyon was the site of many bombfires (bonfires for those of you not present for them), deer sightings, walks, a feared car theft and of course, one shaky handed proposal.Our first little home. I will never forget the many firsts we had here. Our first anniversary, first positive pregnancy test, first sleep walking experience, first "favorite" neighbor, first Christmas and so many more. This was also the home of a penny in the garbage disposal, a ferret sighting, a sneaky wife hiding behind the door while an unsuspecting husband came in singing a catchy tune and holding breakfast strudels and chocolate milk. Then there was the secret stash of plastic bags and grocery store ads, a hidden pot stash which, I am sad to say, is gone now (Don't worry, it's not what you think people) and a really tight parking spot that left our car and the jeep with scratched side mirrors. Don't forget one frozen bus rider, slumber parties in the front room, and Cash Money! Then there's a car crash with a fake note, ward prayer across the street and so many more memories.

So these stairs aren't really a shared memory or experience, but I fell in love with you as you made your trip up and down these stairs every day without a word of complaint. You never even asked if we could rearrange our schedules so you could have the car. You simply put on your backpack and went.

After a year of living in an apartment that didn't allow pictures on the walls we finally got our own home and pictures on the wall. If you look closely you can see our old light is still up side down, but don't look too closely. The bugs have covered the whole thing! This home was where we welcomed both of our children. It was also the place where Avi learned to walk and talk, at least temporarily. Itai's time here was short, but this was the first home we all had together. We changed this place as much as possible in the time we spent there and were extremely lucky to have had such a nice home and have sold it right when we needed to.

I fell in love with you here as well. Here among the ancient stones I found new love for you. I loved seeing your home, your school and your family. I don't think I've ever told you, but I even loved the feeling that you were the only person in the whole country that I knew. (Once your dad and brother left.)

Can you believe I even fell in love with you here, in this room, where we were given some of the most difficult news of our lives? Does seeing this picture bring a flood of emotion for you as it does for me? Even though my heart was breaking in this room I knew I was lucky to have you beside me.

I have fallen in love with you in the strangest of places: Office Max, Kokomo's, libraries, cemeteries, in the "land of the giants," and restaurants serving mushrooms of death. I will never forget flooded vacations, popcorn burns, magical waiters, tired days or dead fish on the shore.

I love you for who you were

the person I know you are

and the person you will become.

I probably wouldn't have done everything the exact same way i.e. Target parking lot or the incident of registering at Bed Bath and Beyond, but other than those few things the last six years have been more amazing than any thing I could have ever expected.

Thanks for everything and happy anniversary Deborah!

Out With the Old...

2010-09-17T00:50:00.000-07:00

I'm a little slow on this one, but Avi had his "graduation" from his old preschool a few weeks ago. He really loved his old preschool and they loved him, but it was time to move on.

When Avi started attending that preschool we were so disappointed with the way things had gone in his previous preschool program and were hoping this new program would be able to correct some of the mistakes made in his old school. The staff at Avi's school far exceeded our expectations for the short time Avi was there. We could not have asked for a more supportive, more invested staff. Even though Avi was only going to be there for a short time they dedicated themselves to helping him progress as much as possible. Even in the last week the clinical director was looking for ways to help improve Avi's situation. It was really bittersweet saying goodbye to them.

On his last day they held a wonderful farewell party. The other children were really excited to give Avi his "birthday" presents. He loved them! He and Itai are in love with the Spiderman blow up toy. They both seem to think it is some sort of really long chair or a really skinny bed.

Debbie painstakingly selected a present to give to the school. It seems she picked well because the students loved the it! She brought them a game and they were excited to play it. In the end Avi had to say goodbye. It was really difficult to leave after all the good they've done for us, but we're definitely excited for him to start on the school we've waited so long for.

To all the staff, thank you so much!

Jumping, Riding and Hanging out Together

2010-09-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the Autism Carnival and EVERYONE was there. Wait, you weren't there? Ok, well you were one of very few who missed it. Seriously, almost everyone was there. Check out this list of attendees:

The Salt Lake Bee's mascot, Bumble,
This Gorilla thing (anyone know who he is? No one at the event seemed to. He pulled up on a Harley and was wearing fur tight Wranglers.) This police officer with a few of his uniformed buddies, because, after all, parents of children with autism do tend to get out of hand.

Nemo was there too. His dad was missing, but was probably searching for him in the duck pond.

Captain Jack Sparrow, at least a guy who was really into his character...a little too in character.

My wonderful wife,And of course, Spiderboy! (Queue 80's cartoon theme song.)

And last, but not least, one of the VIP's from the event: our very own Avi!

With such an impressive list of attendees one would expect an equally striking list of activities. Don't worry because one would not have been disappointed. There was Itai's favorite: the Choo Choo Train. (Don't let him fool you, he was terrified unless seated on a grown ups lap, meanwhile Avi rode with some random other VIP.)

Splore was there with this great climbing wall. Splore provides outdoor sports and recreational activities to children and adults with disabilities. The line for the wall was really long, and the kids were scrambling up pretty quickly.Should you get tired of squishing into a tiny choo choo, or hiding from Captain Jack there was this great information fair. They had all sorts of vendors explaining there services, people selling magnets, t shirts and other things and even a woman selling pretty much everything you could find in a 7-11. Debbie and I were finally able to over come a long standing stylistic difference and we bought two autism awareness bumper magnets for our cars.Once you've finally convinced your parents to leave the boring stuff again you can get back to the fun. There's lots of fun to be had, like this little inflatable ball.You could feed the ducks, follow the rooster, play in the sensory pools, try out the various games or lose the raffle (we never win!) or, finally you could take a trip down inflatable row. Avi was in heaven. He was jumping, running and bouncing to Nirvana. He couldn't have been happier. They had about seven inflatable bounce houses or slides and Avi got to try all but one.

My favorite was the one on the right in the picture below. After climbing through the opening Avi was met with a few obstacles. The first was pretty simple. He just had to make his way through some tall bendable columns. After he did that he found himself face to face with a very narrow opening. He tried to squeeze his head through, but he doesn't like to exert that kind of force. He watched several children do it before he finally was brave enough to force his way through. Having passed that trial he faced the interlocking gate. He was able to master this one pretty quickly. Now the only thing that stood between him and his beloved slide was now a steep staircase. No staircase was going to stand in his way; he flew up to the top and dove down the other side. I was so proud of him for fighting through it even though he didn't think he could.I really enjoyed having the night off and the day with these beauties! It was so much fun I might have to make it an annual thing. :) As we left the helicopter that had been displayed suddenly took off. It shot straight up over us and off into the sky. It all happened so quickly all I could get was this blurry picture of a tiny little helicopter. So after all this fun and hard work, what is left to do? Well, if you're Avi you make a pillow of your underwear and try to get some sleep.If you're Itai you forget the underwear and skip straight to the sleeping part.

The Autism Carnival was a really fun. I am so impressed that Sahara put this together, creating a wonderful day of fun and togetherness. It was great to have time to spend as a family, finding resources, meeting other families and just having fun.

Let's Party!

2010-09-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

My children are spoiled, plain and simple. Any child that has three birthday parties, mountains of gifts and a push over father is bound to be spoiled. Having a lot of family close by, a birthday and a devilishly cute smile don't help either. Once again when a birthday rolls around we end up having a lot of celebrations.

Before we started the birthday parties we started off with a train ride. Itai has been really interested in trains lately so I thought he'd love the ride; I was wrong. He was terrified the entire time. He wouldn't even sit on the seat by himself, but when we got off the train he wanted back on. *Sigh* I can never win.

At least he liked the little gazebo after the train ride was over.

So I forgot to take pictures again, but Debbie got a few.

Oh well, Itai had some pretty fun things in store of him. Itai's first birthday celebration was with grandma, grandpa and family. Itai and Avi both loved being with family and the presents didn't hurt either. Itai opened his first present to find a truck in the bottom of the bag. After that truck he expected every single bag have a truck in it. This didn't end with this party either.

When he and his friends got together for a party he expected to find a truck in every bag. Luckily for him (and not so luckily for mommy) there was a truck or something similar in nearly every bag. So our house in now loaded with trucks and bulldozers, ambulances and fire trucks and just about any other truck-like thing you can think of. Itai's party was planned to be a water party, but nature had other plans. We started out playing outside in the pools, trying to shepherd the children toward the games and activities, but once the rain started falling the party suddenly became a competition amongst the youngsters to see how quickly they could find every toy in the house, play with it and then throw it as fast as possible.

Itai's last party (I hope it's the last party!) was another joint party. Itai shares his birthday with a cousin and his aunt and uncle's anniversary. So we all met up at the happiest place in Utah: Chuck-a-Rama. Avi and Itai were thrilled to see so many family members. Itai was even more excited to see one of his presents, a little lion. He held it tightly the until the waitress brought him a high chair for his baby. He ended up feeding his "baby" for the rest of the evening. Mr. Lion now has a Mac and Cheese stain on his mouth.

Now that the parties are over Itai is surrounded with toys, clothes, books and left over candy from the pinata, Debbie is left trying to find a place for everything and Avi and I are playing with the toys when Itai isn't looking.

Happy Birthday Tai Guy!

2010-08-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

Have you seen that back to school commercial where the moms are sending their kids off to school and waving sadly as they do? Stupid commercial! I swear, I'm fine then all of the sudden a commercial comes on and it's like I'm pregnant! Pregnant women cry at commercials, right? Like I need help feeling all sentimental. My little Itai had a birthday and is getting so grown up, Avi is gowing to be starting his new school year and I'm just getting old.

Two years ago Debbie woke up early, walked down the hall, got strapped to an OR table and had a beautiful little boy. The beginning of his life was the scariest part of mine. I hadn't expected to see the nurse perform CPR on my teeny little baby. When he finally started crying I nearly did as well. He was bigger than Avi, but still pretty small. He was a stubborn little guy too. They put him in a little box to help close an open valve, but he pushed the box away twice.

Poor Debbie didn't get to see him for a very long time and was constantly asking if he was really ok. I had to keep promising he really was. I took pictures to show her, but they weren't very convincing. Can you tell if this is Itai? It seemed like a really long time, but his NICU stay was actually brief. We Avi didn't quite know what to think of him, in fact, he still doesn't know exactly what to think of him. But they do love each other and we love them.

We've spent the last two years cuddling him, searching for that perfect tickle spot (it's finally been found!), carefully scrutinizing every movement of his hands and eyes, breaking up fights, responding to his constant call of HELP! loving him and watching him in amazement...ok sometimes bewilderment.

Like this time...
or like this time...

Itai has been a wonderful addition to our family. He has become this cute little bundle of energy, love and attitude who loves babies, cars/trucks/trains/cars/helicopters/tractors, balloons, books, dogs and horses from a safe and reasonable distance, birds, Carmine, Pablo big brother and Ima. We love our little brother!

Happy birthday Itai! We love you!

Day at the Museum

2010-08-13T23:23:00.000-07:00

At the very beginning of the summer we had dinner with a friend from my time in Lithuania and his family. When we parted ways we said we needed to get our kids together during the summer. Weeks past and I failed to make anything happen, but a few weeks ago I saw a sign for discount days at a local museum and decided we should go. We arrived at the museum before them which gave us enough time to take a few pictures and let the boys run wild (which they happily did).

Avi really enjoyed the beautiful weather, the freedom and rocks to climb on. It can be tricky to get a picture of him smiling, looking in the general direction of the camera and moving at warp speed, so I was really pleased to get this picture of him.Itai loved the freedom as well. He's still working on the whole climbing-jumping thing so the rocks weren't as inviting for him, but he enjoyed pushing the stroller around, following Avi and making the occasional break for it. It's quite a bit easier to get a picture of him looking at the camera, but he was really not interested that day.It turns out I wasn't the only person to see the advertisement for the discount day; the place was packed! We unwisely brought our double stroller in and could barely maneuver around the without bumping, hitting or running over someone. With all the craziness inside I didn't even think to take pictures. Shucks! Next time I guess.

In the mean time these pictures will just have to do. Avi loves the trampoline at his school. If he could he would stay there all day and night. I think we could replace the entire Disneyland park with one trampoline and the fountain in Toon Town and he'd be fine, as long as he got his turn at both. He's not mad in this picture, I promise.Check out that hang time!

An Evening at Home

2010-08-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a very, very long time I was home during the evening. It was great. No school, no work, just time with the family. After our BBQ dinner we decided to go for a ride. But not just any ride; tonight we were riding in style.

Uncle Tom and Aunt Susan brought this wagon over for Avi and Itai the other day and today we had our first chance to really use it. As you can see Itai was thrilled, Avi was just...well, along for the ride.

After taking a few trips around the block we got kinda bored and decided on a new destination: the park. After killing a HUGE spider the playground became safe for two rambunctions toddlers.

Both guys were pretty happy to hit the slides

the swing

and everything else.

We weren't the only ones out enjoying the beautiful weather. The geese decided it was a perfect night for a flight.

Itai loved seeing them and as they flew by he yelled "Quack, quack!!"

While Debbie ran for cover.

And Avi just ran.

Itai liked playing in the wood chips.

And Avi ran.

After walking home (my feet are pretty tired now!) we ran into some neighbors. Their son wanted to pull the wagon and asked if he could pull Itai.

And Avi ran.

We played outside with them for quiet a while but eventually he had to go in (and my back was killing me). Can you tell I'm feeling very old tonight?

After a busy evening like that nothing is better than a nice cool bath and a trip to the potty.

Then the best part of the night is settling in for a new night-time tradition-

Sharing a bed with your best friend

Brothers

2010-07-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Being a brother can be tricky sometimes. It can be difficult to be a best friend and nemesis all rolled up in one. One brother may want to run while the other wants to sit and relax. So sometimes you just have to split up and try things out for yourself.

Itai decided that he would try one of Avi's old tricks, the "self-portrait." And since Itai is terrified of fireworks Avi had to check out the neighborhood firework show all on his own. (He really liked it.)

While Avi was busy with that, Itai found this car to be his speed. He loved it.

But Itai wasn't the only one looking for a ride. Avi found this Pontiac Powerwheel to be more of his speed. This nice stranger in a blue hat was kind enough to pick up a hitch hiker.
Avi may feel like playing ring-around-the-rosieWhile Itai might want to take a break and listen to his favorite music.
One brother may take an adventurous approach...

And the other may try a more cautious method.Even though brothers may have a lot going on and may have separate interests they always come back together for one reason: love.

Yeah, brotherly love.

Too Cool For (Pre)School

2010-07-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

You know the jocks at the cool table at your high school cafeteria? Yeah, cooler than that.

You know those middle aged guys in their convertibles with those sweet leather driving gloves? Waaaaaay cooler than that!

You know those kids on the Disney channel and all over the radio. So much cooler than that!

And the kids with those "non-conformist" star tattoos? And those guys who walk around with their guitars slung over their shoulders? Cooler than both combined!

That's right, Itai is cooler than cool.

"Oooohhhh yeah!"

We're Still Here, Somewhere

2010-07-18T03:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, so life is hectic right now. School is giving me a pretty good beating and the assignments seem to never stop pouring in. The good news is that I was sick last week and had to take of a couple of days from school. Yeah, I was throwing up, but I wasn't in class!

Debbie had a birthday and the boys love birthdays. After my class and Avi and Itai were both home we decided to go buy mommy a present. The boys are BIG spenders and got to buy any one item from the dollar store for her. We walked around for a little bit before Itai found something he was interested in, an Elmo book. What could be a better present? Well, a few minutes later he found it: a baby!

I kept telling him we had to give it to mommy and not keep it for ourselves. He promised several times he wouldn't keep it, but top secret intelligence has found these pictures.

SCANDAL!

Avi found a lovely feather boa for her present. Everyone loves a beautiful sensory experience like wearing a boa, right? I'd show you a picture of the boa, but it turns out dollar store boas and two toddlers don't mix well.

So, Itai has obviously been playing with his baby lately, but what about Avi? He's been busy too. First off, since Itai made his ad for Cheetos he wanted to try his hand at product endorsement. He says, "Wow! You better eat your Wheaties." He's also found a few new obsessions. His latest is this little puzzle. We've had it for ages, but he recently decided to take it on as an obsession. He loves the ambulance, just don't try to take the piece out.He also found this little gadget. He's been working on toy play at preschool and is finally playing with toys. Yay! He really likes this one.Oh and these ones. There's a whole toy box in front of him that will eventually be on top of him.

And don't forget his artistic endeavors. Here is an example of his early work in the cabinet medium. That's right, he decided to decorate our cabinets with PERMANENT marker! Luckily, it wiped off pretty easily.Last but not least, Itai has moved out of the room he shares with Avi. His new room is a bit smaller, but it provides him with the privacy he craves. Don't call Child Protective Services...seriously, he has a bed still.

Haven't I a Son?

2010-07-11T00:50:00.000-07:00

When you talk of your child,
And tell me what he's done,
And talk gives way to silence
Haven't I a son?

When I see yours with others,
As they play and jump and run,
While my own sits all alone
Haven't I a son?

When I see your family
Engaged in children's fun
While my own must do his work,
Haven't I a son?

When you talk of youth in progress
Though my son's has scarcely begun,
I sink inside my self to wonder
"Haven't I a son?"

I hear you tell his troubles
As if he's the only one.
My heart aches as it cries,
"Haven't I a son?"

When you wait for my reply,
But silence can only stun.
These words are stuck within my mouth:
Haven't I a son?

And when the weight of truth
Presses me like a ton
I sit alone at night to cry,
"Haven't I a son?"

Pardon the Interruption

2010-07-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a really busy semester. I've been much busier than I would have liked. I have lots of homework and papers and a ridiculous amount of reading. So, with all this busy work I've had to cut out some minor, insignificant things around the house. First to go, vacuuming. Itai has been enrolled to pick up the slack.
"Mom, he's making me clean again!"At least he's figured out a way to make the best out of the slave labor situation. I just wish I had thought of that.What else has gone? Well, you save so much time when you don't dress your children. It's so convenient! You also save a lot of time when you don't bother putting any lunch together. Besides, they can fend for themselves. Avi has discovered his own food supply.Itai has begun refining his culinary skills as well. Take one pot, add fish. Stir until even smashed and serve immediately.And enjoy!
Don't forget dessert. Here's a quick recipe: take one package of sprinkles, carefully coat entire floor and throw one tantrum when removed from mess. Add one broom and a little assistant with a swiffer.
Does he seem upset by the mess? He really wasn't until I started sweeping.

Summer Makes a Splash!

2010-06-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

My utter failure to find someone to take the boys to the pool fortunately did not keep them out of the pool long. Their lucky enough to have a mom who was kinda enough to take them to the pool. Itai was so excited he shouted, "Water! Water!" The whole way to the pool. Avi was excited too. He was shouting, "Swimming! Want swimming!" Avi really enjoyed himself in the water. He was a VERY far cry from the boy who was so anxious in the water that he barely moved a muscle beyond blinking and letting his teeth chatter. When we were California in May he was just terrified of being in the water. Today he was splashing and laughing and talking up a storm.

Itai really liked spending the evening in the pool. As you can tell he thought it was a little cool. He seems a bit like a duck. His little legs kicked quickly underneath his little raft as he shot across the water.

Oh, and did I mention the splashing? It's the best! You can't have more fun than that. An entire pool just to the three of them. It's the perfect place to splash and yell.

Or just have a nice relaxing float across the shallow end.

Is this a lot of pictures or is it just me? Well, I had to do something while I sat on the sidelines waiting for them to tire of the pool or for time to end, which ever came first. Ok, for me to play the bad guy and drag them kicking, screaming and gnashing teeth.

But back to the pool. Debbie was a great pool buddy. She kept them very happily going around the pool. Avi loved it so much he yelled out, "Circle!"

There was only one down side to the pool. The water apparently doesn't taste very good, at least Itai didn't think so.

Avi didn't think it tasted good either. Oh yeah, there is nothing more on a warm summer evening than a splash in the pool.

Especially one with a great mommy.

Avi & Itai 101

2010-06-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

Life with Avi and Itai is pretty great. There's a lot going on with these two boys. They have a lot of similarities and a lot of differences. One thing they both love is hospital grilled cheese sandwiches. No trip to the hospital is complete without a trip to the cafe.

Life is pretty busy and can be pretty exhausting. Just ask Avi.

Or Itai... Sometimes you have to fall asleep right where you lie. Avi has developed some favorite activities. Anyone who has seen him lately knows how much he loves standing on his head. He still loves running, jumping and climbing. Sometimes he has to be creative to find new places to climb; the counter is so last month! We took out our old baby stroller for a friend who is having a baby soon. I cleaned all the dust off and left it out for her. Avi quickly decided it was designed for purposes other than strolling. We're thinking Splore might be a good activity for him. They have climbing walls just for kids on the spectrum. It's probably safer than stroller climbing.

Itai loves the stroller too. He's not so much into climbing as he is into a good photo op. He climbed up, plopped himself down and started clapping. I took out the camera and he said, "Cheese!" He has a lot of new favorites too. His new favorite word is "uh-oh!" But he also likes saying "bulldozer, Jeep (a really new favorite), truck and tweet, tweet, tweet."

No discussion of favorites is complete without two things they both love. Water. A bath, a wading pool, a swimming pool, the ocean, a puddle, whatever. If there is any amount of water both boys are there and happy. Avi still asks for the ocean and every time we pass our neighborhood pool Itai points out that there is water over there. (No really, any volunteers to take them to the pool? My neighbors might try to whale me.) Itai's school will be doing water days soon. Avi would be so jealous to know that, the only fun thing he gets to do at school is hit a pinata. Oh, and the one thing they both love and hate is eating. Their favorite foods disappear before the we get settled down. Sometimes during the prayer. They could pack down these favorites all day, but if we put out something they don't like suddenly they can go days without eating. Lastly, they love each other. Avi, of course, has his personal space that he doesn't like Itai to violate, but he loves him none the less. Itai can bully his big brother but he loves him like crazy. Debbie told me while they were shopping yesterday they climbed into one of those car carts. She looked in at them and found Itai giving Avi hugs and kisses and stroking his hair. Then to her surprise she saw Avi return the favor by giving Itai big hugs and kisses. That's brothers: pushing and shoving one minute, best friends the next.

So that's Avi and Itai 101. Why 101? Is it because I'm feeling like school is consuming every part of my life? Maybe. Or maybe that's my subtle way of saying this is post number 101. Yay us!

Who's Crying?

2010-06-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, those kids of mine! So cute, so sweet, so full of lessons and SOOOO messy! Itai loves to drink. He'll drink all day and all night. He really likes his milk right now. He's great at drinking from his open cup, but not so great about staying in one spot with it. Solution? Give him his sippy and hope he doesn't manage to knock out the little piece that keeps it from flooding out. What happens when that teeny little piece falls out? See for yourself. You could call it a little mess. So, what does Itai, whose favorite word is "uh-oh," do when he makes such a big mess? Well, he's obviously not saying uh-oh here. He makes the best of it! And what could be better than milk art?
So something bad happened, no use dwelling on it. In fact, as the great Dr. Suess once said, "And when things start to happen, don't worry, don't stew." That's just one of the many great things about Itai. Everything is an adventure, everything is a chance to do something new.

He already knows something most of us know; there's no use crying over spilled milk. It kind of reminds me of a time when I went shopping with my mom. After paying for everything we went out to the car. I picked up the four gallons of milk (I never realized how much we ate and drank back then!) and placed them on the hood of the car while I opened the door. One of the gallons went sliding off the hood and fell, splitting the plastic wide open and leaving the black top covered in a sudsy, white mess. I felt horrible. I knew the milk was more than just milk, it was money, it was something else we'd now have to do without. I stood staring at the milk at my feet until I finally got up the courage to look up. Before I said a word she told me it was ok. That was the end of it. Not a word, not a look.

I missed February 11th, Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk day (I'm not making that up), but still the lesson is the same. There's no use crying over spilled milk. I'm glad Itai has learned this early, even if Debbie wishes he hadn't learned it all over the floor. :)

We Rocked Chuck E. Cheese

2010-06-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you combine place full of lights, sounds and enough games and cause a hyperactivity induced comas in at least 100 children and one boy who is afraid of the rides and one who can't get enough of them? A circus! Ugh. I thought I could do it, but it turns out I needed two more hands (or just one more of me) just to get around comfortably, four more hands to have fun and get some pictures in.

It started off ok, just a quick Avi block at the buffet and we were back to having fun. Avi wanted to spend most of his time in the playground high above the floor. Itai couldn't climb up and I didn't enjoy trying to slither up the ladder with him in my arms. So I came up with a plan. Strap Avi in a ride and hope he liked it. I'm sure you can see from his face and his white knuckles that he loved it. :) One round up and down and he said "All done All done!"

Ok, so Avi thought the ride was a little freaky, but maybe timid little Itai would like it a bit better.

Maybe not. Such fraidy cats we've raised! Itai isn't as tense, but as you can see he didn't trust that thing one bit. While Itai and I waited for Avi to come back down the slide I thought we'd try another ride. He liked this one a little bit more, but it was no comparison to the tiny carousel they had. Sorry, no pictures, like I said I needed one more of me or a few more arms. In the end we found a game they both liked. The little coin launcher thing turned out to be both fun and profitable. They loved launching coin after coin and watching the tickets fly out. After seeing how many tickets they got I was a little sad we left so many of them for other kids. Avi and Itai weren't very interested in the ticket earning games so I gave up on collecting the tickets. Then suddenly we had over 100! Oh well, now we have a lot for next time...after I clone myself...or con one of you into coming with me!

An Open Letter

2010-05-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Stranger who just happens to find

The drama and troubles that weigh on my mind,

Who stumbles upon my tantruming son

And shakes your head at what’s being done.

I know his cries are loud and distraught,

But cries for your stares are one thing they’re not.

You look at this shouting, inconsolable lad

And assume his parents must be horribly bad

To have produced an action, a child like this

But the truth is something you probably missed.

The word is autism and it’s not always nice

And though you mean well I didn’t ask for advice.

But go on and stare; I’m watching too,

But I’m not thinking the same thing as you.

I’m not as worried about the noise,

Instead I’m thinking about two boys.

The one shouting who is drawing your ire

And the one whose silence you seem to admire.

I think of a world that can’t help but leer

At the child I love so well and so dear.

The stares help, they truly do,

To remind me we’ll never be like you.

Don’t worry; it’s not him that you’ll bother,

The only ones you’ll hurt are his mother and father.

But stare, go on and stare if you must

With your mouth open wide; face full of disgust,

I’ll walk by and try to remain quiet,

Secretly thinking, “If it’s so easy, you try it!”

Children cry, you may have seen it before

So please don’t make me walk with eyes on the floor.

Instead of a stare, try maybe a smile

It might help as I pass through this little trial.

And maybe, just maybe, the next time you see

A child who’s not quite like you or like me

You might see yourself walking in their shoes

And maybe even broaden your views

To accept my child different from your own,

But a child who need not stand alone.

Latest & Greatest Invention

2010-05-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up! Come be the first on your block to buy my newest invention. The Kiddie Interpretation Device or K.I.D. will let you know what your child is thinking before they begin to speak. You don't believe me? Allow me to show you some examples...ok, a lot of examples.

Here the child is saying, "I love this park and I'm never going home! I love you, park, I love, love, love you."

"Shouldn't someone be making sure I don't fall instead of taking my picture?"I apologize for how dark this picture is. You can see it if your screen is tilted just right. Here our subject is thinking, "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Such a deep child. "I love applesauce and it's so nice having a bald house boy to clean up my messes!" "Having read all of the literature on the subject, I must now ponder the subject.""They're never going to feed me. Looks like I'll have to fend for myself again."

This one may be hard to guess this one, but he's thinking, "I am really happy."Same here.

Avi is thinking, "You better get the picture the first time; I am NOT doing this again."

Itai is thinking, "Is he really going to kiss me or am I about to get tackled...again?" "Mommy and daddy really left me with this guy? They're gone for 30 seconds and look what he has me wearing!"

"Is there something on my face? That would be embarrassing in such a public place!"

As you may have guessed, both are thinking, "Open the pool and let us in!" (It opens on Saturday, anyone wanna take my kids to the pool so I don't have to be seen without a shirt?)

"Guess what I want to be for Halloween!"

Are you not convinced? Just let me know where I can pick up the checks!

Where It All Started

2010-05-23T03:40:00.001-07:00

Avi and Itai both spent some time in the NICU. They stayed in different hospitals (Itai's hospital doesn't really have a NICU) and Avi's NICU had a reunion on Saturday.

Quick break, I wanted to see if Itai would like Robots, the animated movie. This was his reaction. I guess it's comfortable.

After the movie we headed to the reunion. We arrived to see balloons, the Lifeflight helicopter, hot dogs, popcorn, lots of activities, but most important for Avi, a bounce house. There is nothing he loves more than jumping. Is there a way to make his room into a bounce house? If there is a way to do it Avi would be the happiest kid on Earth! Maybe we'll replace his bed with a trampoline, he hardly sleeps anyway. :)

Ok...rant over with and now back to the action. (It's 4:00 in the morning, you think I can focus?)Of course it was raining. There seems to be some sort of law that says our outdoor activities must have rain. Avi started running for the bounce house by way of a generator so I had to run and catch him. The rain created a big marshy area in the park. Avi missed it but I, wearing my new sandal-like shoes, went straight into it. My shoe and sock were soaked with muddy and very cold water. Avi went straight to the bounce house and naturally Itai needed to follow. They were cold, but out of the rain. Debbie and I however were not so lucky. We were getting drenched and cold and my foot as I mentioned was already went and gross. Finally we had enough and decided to pull them out. avi was not very happy about this, but the promise of a brownie held him for a littlle while. We got to see the Occupational Therapist (OT) who saw Avi from birth to around 18 months. She loves Debbie. After eating our brownie Debbie and I decided to leave the cold and wet park. This was the end for Avi; he couldn't forgive us.

As we were leaving we ran into Nurse Debbie, Avi's primary nurse. She took care of him whenever she worked. She really loved him. Debbie and I were a bit nervous about her at first because she bought him a stuffed animal and an outfit and said she just wanted to take him home. :) So we started out overprotective, at least we mellowed out a little bit right?

We had a nice visit with Nurse Debbie. She was really happy to see Avi, even though he was grumpy. She told us how honored she is to have taken care of Avi and how great it was to see him again. Sadly, I forgot to get the camera out and get some pictures.

As we drove away the sun came out and warmed the park and the reunioners who were brave enough to stick around. Just our luck!

Guilty Pleasures

2010-05-21T01:28:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have guilty pleasures; something they love to do, but don't want everyone to know about. There are lots of guilty pleasures out there. Maybe sneaking that favorite sweet, a favorite TV show or movie, a secret song on your playlist you don't want anyone to know about or even staying up too late.

Staying up late is one of my favorites. I hate it, but I love it. I have others, but lets go ahead an leave it at that for now. I may have staying up too late on to Avi. He refuses to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. I don't mind him staying up late every once in a while. It can be kinda fun seeing him playing while most kids are fast asleep. The only problem is that it makes the mornings very unpleasant. He has to be up early for his school so late nights don't work well. After staying up late one night Avi was fast asleep when he was supposed to be awake and eating or in the bath. Finally, I had to wake him up and send him downstairs. I picked out his clothes while he started down. I found him like this:

That's right, he fell asleep on the landing! He was snoring on the floor. :(

Itai has his guilty pleasures too. First off, he loves being the bully. He doesn't mind pushing Avi off of a slide, away from his spot in the tub and whenever else he wants what have has, is doing or is even looking at. One of his favorite guilty pleasures may be genetic too. He loves snacking. I've cursed him. He really enjoys his cookies, crackers and cereal. He also loves his chips. His favorite are Cheetos. He could eat bags and bags. So what happens when you leave a bag sitting out where he can get it? This:

Ahhh, guilty pleasures. Got any?

A Little Bit of Sunshine

2010-05-16T20:49:00.001-07:00

The semester had grown long and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to make it to vacation. Finally after one last final, a night shift and packing like crazy we made it! I was slow to wake up and get packed so Itai looked at me saying, "Move it Abba! I'm ready to met Mickey Mouse!"

Once everything was packed and we were finally on our way excitement gave way to miles of boredom. Itai liked his movies, but Avi was not so interested. He had to find something else to occupy his time. This ball worked for a bit, also digging in the food bag and treating himself oh and keeping his underwear dry the whole way! I can't tell you how proud I am of this little guy!Itai found his own ways of entertaining himself. Like I said, he liked the movies, but he also like using bowls as hats (dumping his food everywhere), eating, singing five little monkeys and using a remote as a cell phone. After a long drive we made it to our hotel. Both boys enjoyed running around and stretching their legs. Avi, after finally going to the bathroom, started climbing everything. They loved being out of the car. It is amazing how quickly this......becomes this.Avi was out even faster.On our way into California we topped at Calico Ghost Town. My family went there before I was born. They had a bounce house and a lot of old timey things to do there. We went for an old fashioned picture, but didn't get one. :( Heather and Tom did though. Here's Tom with the cousins. And here's our little group hanging out at the mine.

Of course, no trip to California is complete without a visit to (great) grandma's. Avi felt right at home and was ready to explore every corner of her house after giving her those bruising kisses he loves to give.Itai was not as comfortable, but he did spend some time with her. He was happy to sit on her lap without looking around the house at all.The next day was the big visit to Disneyland. Itai liked this visit much better than the last one. He liked the rides and loved seeing the characters. He really liked the stroller we got for Avi.We got to visit Goofy. Itai went straight into his arms and wouldn't let go. Avi still loves Goofy, but since there wasn't room in the hug he decided to explore his whiskers. I was lucky enough to get a huge hug and all I had to do was introduce him to my good friend...Handy Manny!Like I said, Itai loved the rides this time. One of his favorites was Casey Jr. He kept yelling, "Choo! Choo!" His face says it all.

After two days in the park we hit the beach. Avi has been saying, "Want go ocean! Water!" ever since our trip in August. He was not as excite as I thought he'd be when we first arrived, but he warmed up quickly. Itai on the other hand was as excited as could be.

He wanted to walk straight into the water without any supervision or help. Then when the cold waves hit him he just wanted to sit down and get washed away. Finally, he settled on digging in the sand.Avi loved the water too. At first the cold water was too much for him, but quickly he decided the water was great. The sand turned out to be pretty fun too. He loved digging in it and putting it in his hair.

One last trip to the park and then back on the road. Avi was kind enough to supply the paparazzi with this smile before we left.

Now it's back to regular life. Yay!

Culmination

2010-05-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

After pestering everyone I know and as many people I didn't know as possible the Walk Now for Autism finally came (and went). Despite the horrible weather we were excited for the event. Last year our team consisted of four people, our kids, Debbie and I. We raised $60.00. This year we raised over $1600! I didn't get a final count on team participants, but this is most of us. Aren't we a handsome group? All these wonderful people came to a blizzard just for Avi!
Last year the walk was much smaller. There were far fewer people and the walk was just around a parking lot. This year it was 5K! Who would have thought? Most of the team made it just fine, but my cute little niece nearly froze. (Don't worry, she got to go California later.)

I didn't include any of the pictures of the boys soaking wet and cranky as can be, but at the end it started snowing/raining really hard. Sadly, we had to leave before they got to do any of the fun activities there. Here are the boys while they were still dry, relatively warm and happy.

I think I'd rather remember it this way than they way it ended. :)

My Mom

2010-04-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Mom, this post is dedicated to you and since you asked about the 100 day kit I have to oblige. The 100 day kit is a free product designed to help families whose children who have been recently diagnosed. The purpose is to help give understanding of what autism is, what it means to the family, finding services and what can be done to treat it. When you are given either no information or too much information the diagnosis is literally overwhelming. The Internet is filled with information, but deciding what is useful and what is useless is difficult. This booklet is concise and exact. It is a map I wish we had it early in our autism journey.

Looking around my neighborhood growing up there was little competition in the mother of the year arena. It didn't matter, my mom would have won hands down anyway. There was nothing my mom couldn't accomplish for her kids, including winning back a favorite toy that was unfairly confiscated by a substitute kindergarten teacher. I loved how she let me dig up our backyard on my relentless search for fossils. As a kid I thought I knew her so well, but she would constantly surprise me.

One of the stories I love tell about my mom happened when I wasn't even there. I served a two year mission for my church. During the two years I didn't see my family at all. We spoke on the phone and emailed of course, but I lived in Eastern Europe and they were in America. As I'm told, on the first day of this separation, right after leaving me, my family went to get some lunch. They ordered sandwiches and brought them home. After they were all passed out there was one left and my mom wondered whose it was. When it struck her that she bought one for me she started to cry. This story brings emotion even nine years later. I love the phrase mother-heart, because my mom has one.

My mom was a constant teacher. One of the most memorable teaching moments from my childhood was when I had an earache. I came to her in pain, she gave me some medicine and let me lay my head on her lap. After laying and crying for a bit I asked if we could call my dad so he could come home early and give me a blessing. She said he couldn't come home but he could give me the blessing as soon as he did. Then she said, "A mother's prayer of faith can be just as powerful as a father's blessing." She said a prayer over her skeptical son and let him put his head down on her lap. I fell asleep and when I woke up my ear felt fine and my skepticism was gone. My mom's faith was something that sustained me many times.

I have already mentioned how on my worst, darkest day following Avi's diagnosis when I did not want to appear weak in front of Debbie I called my mom. She agreed to come over and appeared almost immediately. I, sobbing like a small child, fell into her arms where I stayed for several minutes. She patiently, understandingly and knowingly listened to me. I will never forget how kind she was as I sobbed and sputtered horribly. I wish everyone could know what it is like to have the unwavering, unflinching love of a wonderful mother.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." I feel the same way. My mother's prayers followed me across the ocean...twice. I knew that she was praying for me and thinking of me. I remembered her prayers from my youth. I still remember them.

It is said, "Daughters always become their mothers; that is their tragedy. Sons never do; that is theirs." My mom has set the bar pretty high, making it easy for me to never become like her. There are many more than five things my mother has always done or been that I wish I could be for my children, but here are some that stuck out to me.

1. Like my dad, I never had to wonder whether my mom loved me. She never left room for doubt. Her love was unconditional and undeniable. She was kind beyond measure and loving beyond reason. I never had to earn her love and would never have been deserving of it. I knew there was no question where I should run when times were tough and no question what the response would be.

2. On a that note, one of the things I love best about my mom is that it is impossible to have any kind of interaction with her without it ending in her saying she loves you. Anytime we speak on the phone, I stop in for even the shortest of visits or even text message, I am always guaranteed to hear that she loves me. One of my favorite quotes from Ed J. Pinegar is, "You are a child of God, who loves you. I don't know about you, but that gives me self esteem for life." Having a loving and expressive mother has given me self esteem for life.

3. My mom used to take us on individual "special times." You can imagine with five siblings getting this kind of quality time was difficult. I'm sure giving it was even more difficult for her. It was a chance to spend some time one on one doing whatever we wanted to do. Most of the time I picked donut holes at Dunkin' Donuts. There were other things I liked doing, but it didn't really matter what we did; I loved just sitting with my mom. We would talk about things she couldn't possibly have been interested in, but she listened all the same. I remember the feeling on these special times very well. I couldn't go on a special time but believe that I was not just her favorite child, but her favorite person on earth. She had a way of making me feel like the most important person.

4. I once had pet praying mantises. At first it was only one, but eventually I decided to add to my collection. Can you believe that my mother let me keep these things? I loved them and when the female devoured the male my mom was there to console me. After she consoled me she taught me. She explained how animals don't belong in jars and cages and need to be free. She taught me what happened was the natural order of things and even though I was sad for the male he would be with Heavenly Father. I let the female go and hoped the male would forgive me for putting him in with her.

5. I will preface this last one by saying this is no shock and you don't have to make any comments on the next sentence either in person or on the internet. When we lived in Florida my teachers sent me to be tested for the gifted program; I failed. (Like I said, no shock, right?) I felt like the test was going really well until he pulled out those blasted puzzles. I struggled and struggled to make the designs he had given me with those little plastic shapes. I could see the result from the look in his eyes and the way he was writing on his note pad. At the end of my test I went back to my mom and thought she would be so disappointed in me. It was quite the opposite. She hugged me and told me she was so proud of me. Then, and I'm breaking a promise not to tell here, she took me to McDonald's. Sorry siblings, but it's true. You know, as we sat there she never brought the test up, she didn't ask me what went wrong or what had happened. She only asked if I felt ok. What a reassurance. I may have failed my test, but my mother certainly passed hers.

My mom has taught me more than I will ever really know. Her example helped me choose a wife who would be, and is, a wonderful mother in her own right. There is no limit to her impact on me. She has influenced me in other ways that are too many and too dear to fully elaborate on here.

Waiting for Summer

2010-04-24T01:54:00.000-07:00

The nice weather has been a blessing and a curse. We've loved being outside but it makes it really hard to wait out the end of the semester! Here's a quick update on what we've been doing. Of course, we still visit the fish and the penguins. Itai loves the sharks and the big fish. They just swim too quickly for my camera phone.
We decided to try eating outside in the nice sun. Avi and Itai split a hot dog. Both enjoyed it, but Itai mostly enjoyed the buses, trucks, motorcycles, airplanes and helicopters that we all over.

Avi enjoyed all of those vehicles, but in the end his favorite was the bicycles. He doesn't look like he's happy about it, but he was...I promise.

Yesterday I looked back and found Avi sporting my beanie. I left it back there a while ago, he found it and decided he needed to wear it.

And of course there is the infamous owie incident. Avi reached into an opened can of green beans looking for food and got himself a cut. He came running in saying, "Kiss it better!" It wasn't bleeding immediately and didn't start until Debbie was kissing it better. Ok, so the cut was pretty tame, but it was the first really owie Avi has ever had so it was pretty big in our house. Here's his little band aid. You can see he was cuddled up with Ima while he calmed down, well fell asleep actually.

What was Itai doing during all of this? Well he was crying pretty hard too. Why? Avi got a band aid and he didn't. Here he is happily band aided up. I think this is payback for me doing the same thing to my parents!

Happy is the finger that gets the band aid without getting the cut.

In happier news Avi has learned to swing on the big boy swing...again! He, as you can clearly see, loves it!
I know I already posted this picture of Facebook, but I really like it.

Reminiscing On a Bad Day

2010-04-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had our fundraiser for our team, Avi's Angels. I cannot believe how generous people were with their money. I was so amazed by the support of or neighbors and friends, thank you to everyone!

Do mind if I tell you a story? We were sitting on small chairs half talking with the doctor, half trying to will Avi to do well on his tests. The truth was, Avi wasn't doing well. He was stuck on crayons and had no interest in the man sitting in front of him. Finally the doctor began telling us some of his history, he worked for so many years in this home for children with autism, he has been a child psychologist for this long and a father of a child with autism for so long. I felt like all of this was building up to him telling us that with authority he could safely say that Avi did not have autism. I was sure he would tell us we had worried for nothing and our lives would go back to the way it was before we ever worried about autism. Instead he told he told us he believed Avi was showing signs of autism. He began to tell us Avi would probably never speak, be potty trained, show affection (I know I've said all of this) and on and on. He told us that he and his wife didn't take their son out for nearly ten years and warned us that we would inevitably need to go to these drastic measures. On and on he went with horrible predictions. Finally he asked if we had any questions and sent us on our way.

I will never forget that feeling. I had never been numb like that before. I looked at Avi through the rear view mirror. He was my beautiful boy. I remember looking at him and thinking he looked exactly the same only completely different. It was as if someone had pulled my sunglasses off and i was shown the glaring brightness of the day. To say I was heartbroken is not nearly sufficient. It was more a kin to heart rending. It was hope squelching, soul baring. There were many reasons we gave him such an unusual name, but none of them were to keep him hidden away. I could not stand the thought of hiding him away from the world or of hiding the world away from him.

Within a week or two I found a new determination. I was determined that even though Avi had autism, autism would not have him. I KNEW we were going to "cure" this. Eventually i was going to write about our experience and call it "Taking Back Avi." I remember writing, "Autism is a powerful force that pulls constantly at a child. To defeat it a parent must not not only fight, but rage against in order to free their child from its grasp."

Eventually that resolution to "rage" against autism gave way to hope. One day after I had gained some acceptance about autism I was running late for school. When I couldn't find a parking spot where I usually park I had to park on the far side of campus. As I walked back to my car that day I realized how close I had parked to the office where Avi was diagnosed. I wondered if there was another family there. I wondered if anyone would be there to comfort them and guide them through. My heart went out to them, whether they existed or not. I later learned a child is diagnosed with autism about every twenty minutes. The chances that someone was sitting in that office, or one similar were pretty strong.

I mentioned how the walk was important to me finding hope again. Our team has raised over $1000 for Autism speaks. This money can provide 18 100 day kits. These kits help guide parents through the first and extremely difficult days. Debbie and I received ours much later than the first 100 days, but I wish we had it earlier. When I meet a parent of a newly diagnosed parent I always tell them to get this as soon as they can. I believe in these kits. I hope that this money will find someone who has lost their hope and save them at least some of the anguish I went through. I hope the money will find someone before their hopes have been completely destroyed. I hope does the good I think it will. I hope again.
(I know I've used this picture before, but they are just plain cute!)

Whenever I Think About Pioneers

2010-04-11T02:46:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to meet two incredible women last month. Both of them were pioneers in their own right. It's just a coincidence that they both deal with disabilities, but I was impressed with both of them.

The first woman I met was Terrell Harris Dougan, author of That Went Well, and sister of Irene. That Went Well is a book detailing some of the adventures she has had as her sister's care taker. Irene is about six years younger than Terrell and was diagnosed with mental retardation in kindergarten. Her family was of course devastated by the news and what added more to their devastation was the udder dearth of programs available for people with that and similar disorders. Her father took out a full page add in both of the local papers asking families in similar situations if they wanted to get together, bring in an expert and start a program in Utah. The result became ARC of Utah. This group single-handedly influenced law makers, created early intervention and school age programs, created group homes and the rules by which they are governed, established work programs, adult care facilities and more. Their parents were responsible for changing the lives of countless families and individuals with mental retardation and similar conditions.

Once their parents were unable to care for Irene, Terrell took up that charge as well. She began caring for her sister and the results can be read in her book.
This is Irene and Terrell today; they can be found in the back of her book.

This is the cover of the book. She told us that the editor picked a strange picture for the cover, so it's neither of them.
Even before Avi was diagnosed with autism he was using early intervention services from Kids on the Move (KOTM).
His speech therapist took a liking to him and taught him many signs and taught us strategies to help him begin to speak. After his diagnosis she was able to give us some resources that we sorely needed at that time. Avi loved their play group and would probably still remember the red swing he loved so much. Selfishly though, I never even considered the origins of Kids on the Move. I assumed that KOTM was simply a function of the local government and just accepted it as such. I was lucky enough to meet one of the founders of KOTM and learn how it began. Karen adopted a son with Down's syndrome. She took him to a professional and were told, "Love him, but don't expect much from him." This didn't sit well with her. She would love him, but she could expect a lot from him and FOR him. Along with a friend who also had a child with Down's syndrome they formed a volunteer preschool for children with Down's syndrome. This preschool grew and continued to grow to include different disabilities. Today KOTM has a beautiful building all their own and they continue to help children with a wide variety of disabilities and delays. More about their history can be read at their website here:Kids on the Move

I can't believe how determined some people can be. I wish I had the vision of these parents; they are amazing.

An Old Friend Returns

2010-04-08T16:03:00.000-07:00

Avi's keyboard died a little while ago. Nothing serious, just dead batteries and a really lazy dad. Itai mourned the loss too actually. He loves stealing it from Avi. After many sad looks when they tried to play it an couldn't (and even more reminders from Debbie) I finally got around to replacing the batteries. I told Avi to go play it, but he had learned not to bother with it anymore and wouldn't listen. When I finally got him ot try this is what it looked like:
"What? This thing? It's broken, remember?"

"It's a miracle!!"

Two thumbs up!! (And a lot of sun in the face!)

To sum it up, Avi was really happy to have his piano back. Thanks Tiffany!

Today's Weather? More Please!!

2010-04-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

I think it's pretty sad to be excited for 50 degree weather in April, but I couldn't have been happier to see clear skies and warm-ish temperatures. Is it too embarrassing to admit that I honestly considered pulling out the inflatable pool for the backyard? Oh well, I did. The only reason I didn't was because Avi and Itai were too grumpy without hypothermia! So what did we do with this warmer (and apparently temporary) weather? First off was a trip to feed the ducks. I guess I wasn't clear about the purpose of our trip to the pond because Avi kept trying to walk right into the water. Itai still loves the ducks, as long as they don't hiss at him like the goose did. I didn't have the camera with me for the duck pond, but it turned out to be good, because Itai was so tired that he was stumbling around and I barely saved him from taking a dip a few times.

After we ran out of bread and the seagulls came swarming for leftovers we headed to the park. Both Avi and Itai were really excited to get running in the sun. Itai was so excited that he went face first and ended up with a mouthful of wood chips. Avi managed to climb the whole climbing wall before I even knew he was there! There were some older boys there yelling, "Look out we're big boys!" Avi thought they were hilarious, but Itai was wary of them. He seemed to be afraid of being trampled.

There's one of the "big boys" running by.

After spending way too long at the park we came home to cook and clean (that's right! My children are slaves!). Apparently the park was a little more exhausting than I thought. Avi just collapsed.

After a quick nap and finishing dinner it turned out we still had some time before Debbie got home. We used it to take a quick trip to the backyard for some more fun. Itai started tantrum when I tried to bring him in for a jacket and one of the neighbor kids yelled out, "What the heck!" Once I stopped laughing I finally got him inside and got his jacket on. (Later tonight I saw him in the back of a cop car getting a stern lecture so...what the heck to you!) :)

It was so much fun that even Debbie got in on the action!
Today was so nice! I hope we get a few more like it!

Oh and did I mention Itai got a hair cut? For some reason they thing a sticky sucker and hair everywhere is a good combination.

Signs You're a Great Dad

2010-04-05T14:31:00.001-07:00

Sign #41 When it's 7:30 in the morning and one of your kids opens an Easter egg and shares the M&Ms with his brother while you are getting breakfast ready you're probably a great dad.

Easter Egg

2010-04-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

So maybe Avi and Itai don't know what an Easter Egg hunt, or even an Easter Egg is but that couldn't stop them. The weather is still cold and windy and even a bit wet, but that couldn't stop them. The neighbor kids got a big head start on them, but even that could not stop them! They had to hunt out the Easter Eggs and bring them home.

As you can clearly see, Avi was intent on searching every inch of the neighborhood.

Itai wasn't going to miss out on any opportunities, no matter how empty his basket!

And of course, no Easter Egg Hunt is complete without a relaxing break and spliting a Lunchable!
Thanks mommy, for taking us out!

Let's Go Fly a Kite! Or not.

2010-03-30T16:37:00.000-07:00

What happens when horrible weather traps you inside for months at a time? Well, you make you own fun.

One of these things is not like the other! Did you find it? It took me a while.

Or you find a hole to crawl in,

or you sleep (or hibernate depending).

The weather lately has been slightly unpredictable, but today it was was warmer and really windy. I decided it was a good opportunity to try to fly a kite. Avi and Itai had other ideas. Avi decided to run down to the neighbor's backyard while Itai thought the street would be an interesting adventure. So I grabbed Itai gave him the kite while I chased Avi down.
Ok, kite take two! On take two Avi decided to stand in our yard, but wasn't interested in the kite while Itai was fascinated with it and got the tail wrapped around him several times. Guess when I decided the kite wasn't a very good idea. You know what is a good, calm idea? Side walk chalk! So I grabbed the chalk and suddenly I had two boys who were very interested.

Ok, so Itai became more interested in bringing chalk to the neighbor's dog than in coloring, but he was still interested.

And in between coloring sessions Avi was feeling what chalk on his mouth tasted like, but he was still interested! (Can you see the chalk on his lips?)

So, what else do you do when the weather is foul? Take pictures of your cute children all dressed up for church! I think they liked their new clothes almost as much as Debbie did! Personally I like Avi's do-I-have-to-smile-grimace.

Here's Itai sporting my attempts at taming his wild cow licks.

One more pictures of the brothers for luck.

Finally, here's Avi saying, "Yay! Another blog post is over!"

Yeah, We're Cool Like That.

2010-03-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

Our family is pretty cool. I don't mind bragging since most of you are members of my family. Let's start with my grandma. Check this out!

That's right, she made all of this. Even though clowns are by nature creepy, these clowns are pretty cute. Avi and Itai think so. Avi especially loves the alligator. He sleeps with it and we often find him cuddled up to it at night. Itai would probably like it too if Avi ever let him play with it.

Now I know you're looking at the picture and wondering, what is that in the back. Can it possibly be? It is! That's right, my grandma made these sweet slipper-shoes!

Here I am trying my hand (or foot) at foot modeling! They look pretty sweet on me, right? :)

Like I said, she's pretty cool.

Avi is pretty cool too. He didn't make anything, but even though he hates getting his hair cut he sat patiently while the stylist asked him over and over how old he was.

She asked him what he thought. Here's how he responded. I think it's a cute haircut.

Then there is little brother. He's a pretty cool guy too. Other than being generally handsome and easy going; Itai loves Elmo.
He loves Elmo enough to try to share a cracker with him.

Elmo could only have one complaint, that Itai only loves him almost as much as he loves Avi. Still, that is a lot.

Wait, what? We're so cool you want to see some more? Ok, don't ask me why they've been wrapped up like this, they just were. Maybe this is their way of asking for the Snuggie Jr.

Have they even invented that yet? If not, I claim intellectual rights and patent properties!

One last shot of Avi's haircut to prove how much he loves it. Itai's pictures are coming next week. Goodbye Alfalfa look!

That's it for now, but don't worry; we'll be back. That is, if I ever find that memory card for the camera.

Little Things Make Me Happy

2010-03-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

This week has been a really good week. It is so nice to have weeks like the last few. For those of you who did not hear yet, Avi is back in his therapy program, for good. That's not a little thing; that's a HUGE thing. Another big thing is the amazing difference between last week and this week with him. He is so talkative, so aware of his surroundings and the people in them and so happy. So what are these little things?

Avi's little things:

Avi kept his diaper/underwear dry all night, all day and all night.
I picked Avi up from his preschool and was met with a big hug and a kiss, not his usual here's-my-head-kiss-it-kiss, but an honest to goodness puckered up kiss on my cheek.
Hearing Avi say things like, Bonk toes, kiss better! Want Sesame Street on! Bye!
Spying Avi give Itai a sponteneous hug.
Hearing that he walked up to his two new school friends and hugged them.

Itai's little things:

Everytime he hears a truck drive by he points at the window and says, Truck!
Everytime he hears anything remotely similar to an airplane he points up and looks for it.
I just love it when he says baba! (that's his way of saying Abba, which is what he calls me.)
Watching Itai find himself right at home with new children in a new place, but still coming back to me to show me what he was up to.
Spending fifteen minutes, just the two of us, at the park.

Both boys:
Of course the holding hands thing melts my soft heart.
This week both boys ended up in our bed at the same time in the early morning (curse you day light savings!) but both fell asleep on my arm...and my arm fell asleep right after. As much as my sleeping arm bugged me I didn't want it to end. It's a curse having such cute boys really. :)
We went to the park together and Avi was racing back and forth as fast as he possibly could while Itai was still getting used to walking on the bridge. Itai stumbled and was on all fours. Avi raced by right when Itai tipped and stopped for just a split second to check on him.

Debbie:
One night I mentioned that I wanted something sweet, she went and got it! I protested, but she said she needed to grab some milk for the next day anyway.
I admit it, I like to cuddle. Who knew that some people don't? Well, it turns out that not everyone does...Debbie for example. :) I came home from work and hopped into bed where Debbie was soundly sleeping after a rough night. I cuddled up right next to her but she asked me to give her some room. I turned over to let her sleep. As I started drifting off she scooted over cuddled up next to me.
Debbie never stops working. She works whenever she can (I think she knows she's our only hope.) and when she's home she's cleaning, organizing or doing something to make our home a better place.

Yeah, life can be pretty amazing.

Spring Preview

2010-03-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

The sun does not shine much around here in the winter. When it does shine it only means it's even colder. When it's cold you have to find something to do to entertain yourself. Itai loves crayons.
Avi has found that tipping the tent over is fun. It's pretty hard to get out, but it's also really exciting.

Then there's hanging out upside down. it doesn't look like it's much fun, but he loves it.

Itai has also found that Abba can be pretty funny.

But when the sun is shining and the temperature starts climbing you betgter take advantage of he opportunity. Today would be one of those days. We had to go to the park. No seriously we did; it's in the bylaws. The park only had a MILLION kids there, but we found a way to get around. Avi and Itai didn't even mind holding hands at the park.

Can you tell that after begging to swing he was freaked out about it?

I couldn't help but take a picture of our shadow train. Even their shadows are cute!

Of course Avi has to ponder his next playground move. Let's see...big side or climb down the ladder?

Itai on the other hand only slows down to get on the slides.

Avi would never let us take a trip to the park without a quick game of "pooh sticks." He and Itai love looking the stream.

Itai loves holding Avi's hand and Avi was kind enough to help him cross the bridge.

Back to the action, Avi comes sliding in as fast as he can!

Meanwhile Itai is busy working on getting to the next slide.

And here's the payoff!

This is the luckiest shot of the outting. I just barely caught him before he took off again.

Brothers -

no matter how far we have to go, I'm with you every step of the way.

My Dad

2010-03-13T12:27:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in an earlier post how much I looked up to my dad growing up. I described him as a superman. I knew he didn't wear a cape or fly around, but other than that he was pretty much him. I even noticed how his hair was always perfect. Not one hair out of place, just like Superman. Like Superman, I loved to watch him fix the car, fight the dragon (that would be barbecue in most homes) and mow the lawn. I could listen for hours, and did on our roads trips and moves, to his army stories and childhood experiences. Though he and Jon (my brother) really had the connection here, I loved listening to him point out the different airplanes we'd see flying overhead or at Wright Patterson Air Force Base. I was always jealous that Jon had such a mind for airplanes, guns, tanks and other military things.

One of my favorite childhood memories was from a road trip my family took to California. I woke up at what seemed the middle of the night to me and everyone was sleeping except for my dad who was driving. We were out in the middle of nowhere and I remember how brilliant the stars were. I slid up to the igloo the was placed in between the bucket seats of my family's van and the two of us talked for a very long time. With four sisters and a brother it wasn't always easy to find time like that with my dad and I loved it. I still remember how I relished the opportunity. We went to Disneyland that trip, but when I got back this is what I told my friends about.

I used to read the Life's Little Instruction Books and saw that he was looking for suggestions. I went to my dad and asked him for some advice, but I told him that I was just trying to remember some of the advice he had given me over the years. He said, "If you can't remember the advice I've been giving you, you're up a creek."

Well dad, I'm not up a creek. The lessons you've taught me have stuck. Here's a few of the things I've learned from you. The Talmud says, "When you teach your son, you teach your son's sons. Here are a few things you've taught Avi and Itai. Thanks for teaching me these and so many more things.

1. I never wondered if my dad loved me. No matter what trouble I got myself into, and I got myself into plenty, I never had to wonder whether he would stop loving me. One of the reasons I always wanted to name my son Absolam was because of the love David showed for his son, the same kind of love my father showed me.

2. My dad worked very hard for several years to raise funds for the Sub for Santa program. I remember one year he was focusing a lot of energy towards finding donors and I selfishly wondered who would be our donors. I never said anything to him about it, I didn't need to. I knew what his answer would be. His example of caring for others was something I took for granted when I was young, but something that I hope to emulate for my own children.

3. One of my dad's most frequently used quotes is, "It's ok to be confused." He has said this as long as I can remember. Maybe it's not the best thing to be, but it happens from time to time. One thing I didn't expect to have learned from him when I was younger is it's ok to cry. When I was young I never saw him cry. I don't want to embarrass him, but he has now shown his soft side. Luckily for me I can still follow in his shoes because I have been exposed as having only a soft side.

4. My dad's favorite play was (and may still be, I'm not up on this)Man of La Mancha. He never really told me why he liked it so much, but I really enjoyed watching it with him. If I had to guess why he liked it so much it would be that my dad is an idealist. I think my dad loves the idea of sallying forth into the world righting all wrongs. I know he loves the song "The Impossible Dream." I think it describes what he would really like to do. Whatever the reason he likes it, I will always remember the trip we took up to the University of Utah to watch the play. He was singing and humming the music for weeks.

5. I loved listening to my dad tell about how he came to be a member of the church. His testimony of the Gospel was always something that was uniquely his and very personal to him. When my sister and I decided church should have a summer vacation like school does he let us know how important church was, not to us, but to him.

I have forgotten many of the instructions those little plaid books gave, and those that I remember I don't follow. For example, "Never attend a church with padded pews and a basketball court." I break that one all the time! I remember my dad's advice and what's more, I'm still trying to be like him.

The Best Part of My Day

2010-03-10T16:57:00.001-08:00

Ok, so it was just for a minute, but it really made my day!

Life's Little Secrets-For Free!

2010-03-09T18:53:00.001-08:00

Our cute little boys are like little life gurus. They have so much to teach about life. Fortunately, I have decided to share their secrets with all of you.

Kisses better may not heal everything, but they work both ways.

One of anything is a fight for who gets it. Two of anything is a fight for who gets both.

Nothing is more attractive than when it is in your brother's hands.

Peeing in the tub is much more likely in the start of the bath than at the end of it.

All cereal left on the bottom shelf of the pantry is subject to confiscation, eating and spreading over the entire kitchen floor.

Homework makes for better pictures than coloring book pages or construction paper.

It's easy to be happy when you are busy with the people you love.

Everyone can be their own different kind of perfect.

The chance that a diaper will be dirty goes up exponentially the more you are running late.

It doesn't matter who you are, the blender is just plain terrifying.

The bigger the mess, the more likely someone will stop by unexpectedly.

No matter how cool you're parents are Elmo (or Leo depending) is cooler.

Nothing is healthier than Cap'n Crunch, nothing.

Blowing out candles and unwrapping presents is great, but hugs are the best!

Funny Boys

2010-03-06T22:21:00.001-08:00

Avi and I have played a silly little game for a long time. I say, "Guess what?" and he laughs and says, "Spanky, spanky!" and then dives over my legs to get his spankies. The other day I said it and he did what we always do, but Itai saw an opportunity to get in on the game. He came running over and started giving Avi spankies. Avi and I were both surprised, but only one of us was laughing. I guess it's time to retire the old spanking game.

We were playing in the morning before the bus came to pick up Avi. While we were playing Avi suddenly looked up at me and said, "Want see fishies." Before I had a chance to tell him that we didn't have time Itai was off and running to the door, frantically pulling on it so we could go. I said, "Not today." But it didn't matter to Itai one bit. He pointed to the door and said, "ish! Ish!"

I have wondered for a long time what the world looks like to Avi. The other day we went to Avi's school to talk with his teachers. We arrived a bit early so I thought it would be a good chance to hit up the playground. As we started walking toward the playground he looked out and said very excitedly, "Circle!" I'm really not sure what he saw, but he was really excited about it. We walked a bit farther when he yelled out, "Square!" This time I could tell he was looking at the kickball square. A bit later he yelled out, "Triangle!" I still don't know what he sees, but I'm pretty sure shapes are part of it.

The fireworks at my parents house seemed to have left quite an impression on Avi. They have plenty of nieghbors who use what we refer to as, "Wyoming legal" fireworks. He loved watching them fly up into the air and expolde, whether or not it is illegal in Utah. Even though it's been almost a year since the last time we saw any he still asks about them. Today while we were playing together he looked at me and said, "Want see Uncle Jonny! Want see fireworks!" Sadly, he'll have to wait another couple of months and hope that the neighbors are on their way to Wyoming soon...at least for the fireworks; he'll probably see Uncle Jonny before then.

The Many Misadvenures of the Brothers Andes

2010-03-05T12:38:00.000-08:00

A lot has been going on in the lives of our little boys latley. A lot! Like what you ask? Well why don't I show you a million pictures of the last couple of weeks? I knew you'd like that.

Let's start with little Itai. He seems like a happy child right? Well not when he's sick (which is something he's been quite a lot lately. Thanks day care!) Thankfully most of what he did...other than cry is sleep. Look how cute he looks when he's sleeping for a third hour.
Grandma's blanket is still a favorite. How can I tell? Well, you don't just cover your head with any old blanket! Serious, only the best blanket can block out a snoring brother!
He also loves his stolen moments on Avi's tricycle. Looks at this proud face. He knows Avi will never know and he loves it!

We were both thrilled to have the sun shining and the temperatures in the 50's last week. *Sigh* Too bad it didn't last...I mean I love the Utah snow. There's nothing like hiding indoors and hoping your car doesn't slide of the freeway. At least we had a few days of sun and sand. Ok, so the sand was at our local playgoround, but still Itai LOVES it!

Can you tell he is surveying his land, looking for the best place to build a castle?

Then there is the pantry. Not only is it totally cool to close yourself in there and wait for a knock on the door, but it also makes a great place to change into your superhero outfit, if there is ever an emergency at least.

For those of you out there who are worried that Itai is getting to do a lot of fun, crazy things and Avi is stuck to plain, boring therapies don't worry. Avi has his secret fun too. After hyperbarics one day Avi and I found three police cars, an ambulance and a fire truck responding to a minor emergency. We walked over and looked at the vehicles and Avi was really excited! One of the fire fighters, seeing the huge smile and possibly hoping to make a future fire fighter out of Avi, asked if he would like to see inside. They let Avi climb in the back and look around.

Then they even lowered the big seat so he could sit and feel like a real fireman. What a nice fire fighter! Then the sherrif gave Avi some sherrif badge temporary tattoos. The only people who didn't participate in making Avi's day were the paramedics. They were busy trying to save some guys life. Can you believe the nerve of some people?! (Actually, the guy called 911 because he was feeling lethargic at a fast food restaurant, but either way, they were too busy for us.)

Speaking of HBOT, it's still going well. I'm supposed to write on their blog soon, but for the life of me I'm not sure what to write! Avi likes it. There's nothing like an hour of your favorite show on earth, your parents not being able to stop you from doing anything and diving in a rocket ship! The picture is really grainy because they lower the lights and my phone's camera doesn't like that.

That's not all Avi's up too. He's busy, even when he's sleeping. We went to an event for the Walk recently and Avi's picture was up along with an old blog entry. People got to see him and read a little bit about his story. They made the frame and let us keep it. What a nice little autism community. :)
One more little thing. Avi continues his little eating quriks. These are little stubs left over after he ate most of an orange. For some reason, he doesn't like eating the very last piece of each slice.

This is what used to be a chocolate covered donut. For some reason the chocolate covered top disappeared.

What have they been doing together? Well, they've started a tradition of group tattoing.

Once the tattoos are cleaned up they move on to the balloons. There is nothing more fun than doing core exercises and trying to pop them with your weight! (The blue one is gone already.)

My Boys Are Famous (not really)

2010-03-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

So, I know most of you have already read this and are already sick of me, but if you can stomach just a little bit more check this out. Our little team for the Walk has been featured on the Autism Speaks blog. Thanks team members!

Our Amazing Week

2010-02-27T22:23:00.000-08:00

We've had an amazing couple of weeks. I know that most of you already know what has happened this week, but I feel so grateful for everything that I just have to share...again. I write this knowing not everyone is having a great week (the people of Chile, for example). I promise I am not writing this to gloat. Actually, I want to let people know that things can change. This winter was really difficult for our family. You have read many of the challenges in this blog, but there are others I haven't shared with anyone. We've survived illnesses, financial insecurities, frustrated goals, uncertainty, experiments, changes in school, changes in behavior and who can forget medical bills, medical bills and medical bills?

It's not quite spring yet, but I feel like our winter is over and we've come into a season of renewed hope and life. Our first exciting news came when we found out Avi was accepted into the therapeutic preschool program we've been waiting so long to join. We'd picked up and moved to be closer to this amazing program and finally we were going to get to be a part of it. The psychiatrist told us he knew when they had their admission meeting he would hear, "How cute Avi is." He kept describing Avi as "very congenial." When he told us again that Avi is congenial and said that he would like to work with him we felt pretty confident he would get in. The next day we got the good news.

As you know anything autism related is extremely expensive and almost never paid for by insurance. This program is no exception, but the second bit of good news (great news really) is that we won't have to pay for Avi's preschool out of pocket. We were really stressed about paying for it, but we are so relieved and grateful now. I mean, who is given a truly life altering gift like that? Not only that, but one worth far more than the high monetary value placed on the gift? This was enough to make a great week, but for some reason that wasn't all.

We tried a treatment plan that is a little unorthodox at the end of last year. It was difficult to say how well it went because Avi started school, speech and this new therapy all around the same time. Eventually funds for this therapy ended and we had to stop. In this next bit of good fortune we found out we are lucky enough to get to give it another go. This is a short term experiment, but it will help us better understand if it was actually effective or not. We'll see how it goes.

I thought that was enough. I don't want to ask for too much and I really felt undeserving of what we had already gotten. (Not that Avi isn't deserving, because in my completely impartial opinion he really, REALLY deserves it.) As I mentioned, our insurance doesn't cover anything for Avi. We've been desperate to provide him with therapies but we just didn't have the funds for them. This has been one of the most horrifying parts of autism for me; to have to sit back and wait while your child needs help is nearly unbearable. With the help of a really supportive, understanding and knowledgable doctor Avi was finally approved for Medicaid. Why doesn't insurace cover autism? Don't get me started on that one. Why don't all kids with autism automatically get disability coverage? I won't comment on that, but I will say that Utah House Bill 184 aims to correct this. I would love it if you took a moment to email or call your state senator to let them know you support this bill. Avi finally has the help he needs, but what about the other children?

Oops, sorry for the digression. We now return to our coverage of the best week ever. Honestly, after all of that I really felt undeservingly blessed at this point, but the week still had one last bit of magic to perform. We found a business that does intensive therapy near our home, but we couldn't afford it. We had a plan to scrap together enough for Avi to do a month or two, but amazingly Avi is now enrolled for the five months leading up to his enrollment in his therapeutic preschool.

Wow. Just wow. I know we haven't reached the end of anything yet, but I feel like we are finally getting a chance to start. After the darkness and hopelessness we'd felt for so long this feeling of hope and optimism is refreshing. I am so grateful for everything. I know I have overused the word amazed but I really am amazed at everyting!

While I was in the MTC, still in the grips of the worst case homesickness I have ever experienced I read a quote from Boyd K. Packer. It helped me through what I was convinced was the hardest thing I would ever go through. I often think about this quote: "Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that 'leap of faith,' as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two. “The spirit of man,” is as the scripture says, indeed 'is the candle of the Lord.'" (Prov. 20:27.) After feeling as though I've taken more darkened steps than I am comfortable with I found that my way was lit. It is with good reason that Jesus is called the "Way, the Truth and the Light." No matter how dark our path He is the Light at the end of the tunnel.

Post Party Life

2010-02-25T15:32:00.000-08:00

Seriously? A whole week with no birthday parties? No presents? No candles? No cake? (Ok, I confess we've had cake.) What do we do on a week without all of these special events? Well, Abba stresses about tests, giving a lesson and strange sleeping patterns. The boys on the other hand have much better ways of passing the time.
Avi likes his new fancy markers, even if he can't color on his face, clothes or anything other than the paper.

The regular markers, now less coveted, have been passed on to Itai. And as long as he's inheriting markers he might as well inherit Avi's furniture designing skills, oh and Avi's hand coloring skills. Somehow he even managed to get marker in his ear!

Once the coloring is done there is only one thing left to do. Get dressed up, looking cute and on the bus for school. Here's Avi looking handsome in his new jacket. (Thanks for the gifts everyone!) He looks distressed, but he's really just saying, "Bus coming."

How about Itai? Well, with no bus coming he gets to sport a bit more relaxed look. Here he is just trying to get around the house without being bothered.

"Ah man, I can't go anywhere without the paparazzi following me!"